Decisions

I wonder how many drops of sweat I have taken photos of and then posted here on this blog. More than this one, I can tell you that. I find something impressive about dripping sweat. Maybe that is part of why I do what I do.

Yesterday I was working on training for how to write a patient's treatment plan. When I looked at how we look at a person's treatment goals, considering their assets and their desires, and then their abilities, and what is attainable... I thought about myself (of course I did - I am an alcoholic!) and my decision to bag my marathon training.

I have the desire to run the marathon in October.

One of my assets (questionable as it may be) is my tenacity, which serves me well in training.

I know I have the ability to complete a marathon.

I wrote an e-mail to my coach. We e-mailed back and forth and back and forth and finally she suggested we talk on the phone. She called in the afternoon, after I had completed my half mile swim lunch, and we talked for a half hour.

I hadn't realized that I am almost there. I only have seven weeks of training left. Only three of those weeks is going to be really difficult - I have an 18 miler this weekend and then two 20 milers. I am going to give it a shot. My best shot. If I can't, then I can live with that. But if I can, then I think I should at least try. So, I will.

I talked to my fella last night and asked him if he could hang in there with me for the next couple of months, and without hesitation, he said he could. I told him I realize this makes me incredibly self-centered and takes my time and energy away from the people who care about me. He asked for assurance that there is an end-date on it, and I told her there most assuredly is. That date is October 16, 2011.

So, I ordered a new running dress because I swear I don't ever want to run in anything else.

And I came home from work and ran 3 miles on the treadmill. So, combined with my swim at lunch, that put me back on track for yesterday.

Then a sponsee came over and we talked for an hour or so. While I stopped sweating and iced my foot. I told her that right now her only salvation may be a crazy-ass newcomer. That sitting around thinking about how she is feeling is not going to help her. But helping someone else will. And that is what makes the world of recovery go 'round.

One alcoholic helping another alcoholic, which helps the other alcoholic. 'Round and round it goes. And where it stops, nobody knows!