There is a limit to how long I can stay unhappy, and I reached it today. I am terribly sorry that my friend is ill. I will continue to pray for her. I will continue to support her. I will continue to do whatever I can reasonably do for her. But I cannot stay in this state of unhappiness.
Work is overwhelming right now. Tomorrow is a day with major presentations - back to back. They are not all written yet. They will be though. I really must get to work early tomorrow, which means I must get to bed in a matter of moments.
Yesterday when I was just horribly unhappy, one of the men at work came to me with this silly solar powered flower to put on my window sill. I love this thing. I decided to take a movie of it today. Very very silly. And that is fine with me.
I feel like that last couple of months have been rich with lessons about every moment being meaningful. Every word, every action. Nothing unnoticed, nothing without a consequence. My friend who is in critical care said that when I told her I pray for her every day a couple of weeks ago it meant the world to her. Well, I do pray for her every day and I have for a long time. But when I said that, I didn't think it would mean a thing to her. Just like that bathroom in Colorado Springs - I didn't think my conversation with my daughter would be heard by a little girl who had just lost her mother. I feel like God has just noticed that I might be worthy of doing some work. I am honored, but a lot more comfortable with being an unreliable slacker.
I am in some serious need of frivolity. I don't think it will be coming, but I at least need some down time. I scheduled Friday off today. I have got to get some peace and rest.
And in all of this, I managed to get on the treadmill at 5 a.m. and put in 7 miles before I got ready for work. I have 53 more days to train for this marathon, and I have a feeling it is going to be hard. (Who knew training for a marathon would be HARD?)
Thank you for your kind comments over the last couple of days. They have been appreciated by me. :-)
9 comments:
Not only worthy, but actively as well.
I believe all of us are helpful to others, even if it's just by being sober. But there's so much more.
Take it easy. Life is full of wonderful moments too, don't forget that.
Some serious relaxation sounds like a very good thing. I am glad that you are letting go of the unhappiness. She is alive. That is a miracle in and of itself. God is good.
I often laugh and cry in the same day. I have a schedule that makes this necessary. Eg: ongoing serious health issues with family, if I waited until all the situations were clear, I would be Mrs Grump forever! Or permanently drunk, as in dead.
I need at least one good Monty Python half hour in each day, regardless of circumstances. At least one!
Oh, and a pie works wonders too....
You reminded me of something I'd like to do ... it might be fun and silly and certainly allows for some imaginative work to happen.
Willingness is the key.
You reminded me of something I'd like to do ... it might be fun and silly and certainly allows for some imaginative work to happen.
Willingness is the key.
You are anything but an unreliable slacker! And that flower is just too cute.
Kim from sAn Antonio
MC- reading about training for a marathon is hard, I cannot imagine actually doing it :-)
I hope and pray that you get to enjoy some lighthearted, frivolous activity this weekend!
it is a good idea to stop and give our heads a shake from time to time and realize that we have a choice in everything. happiness or sadness. :)
I am glad that you are feeling better/deciding to not stay in unhappiness. Could it be possible that you have just noticed that God thinks you are worthy? I think he probably knew it all along. (smiles)
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