Today

I got to go out and experience the sunrise. These August mornings really are spectacular.

I got to register for a marathon in California in October. The local marathon I am registered for is not a good one. Last year they ran out of water! I have known this for months, but there were many variables that needed to sort themselves out. I knew on Saturday that I was free to find an out of state marathon to do. Which is kind of short notice for a fall marathon. My first choice was already closed. I really wanted to do Portland (Oregon) - did you know that the Simpsons characters are named after streets and things in Portland? I love the Simpsons and would love to pass streets that are their namesakes - imagine passing Flanders Street and saying "hi-diddly-ho!" I also wanted to do a race on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, but it is a l-o-n-g flight (or two) from Colorado to NC, so I opted not to do that.

I am very excited about this race. I cried from joy as I registered. I think it is the first time in my life that I actually believe that I can cross the finish line of a 26.2 marathon. 73 days from now. But who's counting?

Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of my last marriage. It is amazing to me to think how young I was and how old and wise I thought I was. I was six years sober, he was eight. I was thirty-eight, he was forty-eight. I was a United Stated citizen, and he was not. I did not know that made me very attractive to him and probably little else did. I was starry-eyed in love. We were married in a park in Sedro Woolley, Washington, surrounded by our AA group.

Four years later, he was a citizen of the United States of America, and we were divorced in a courtroom in Colorado.

I was still surrounded by my AA fellowship. As I still am today.

I would rather be 20 years older and be where I am today. Odd as that may seem. I am safe, I am loved, I am alone, and I am still sober.

Ironically, he never got to live in the US. After our divorce, he immediately married the woman he wanted to marry with whom he had had an affair in Singapore before we met. He moved her to the US and she hated it. They moved to Asia many years ago and he has unhappily lived there since.

I live where I want to live.

Where I hear crickets outside of my window. Where there are white sheets on my bed beckoning me. Where I have a crazy solar lantern on my front porch. Where candles are burning causing a lovely sooty scent. Where it is quiet and peaceful and prayerful.

Thank you God.