Mistakes

At work this week I needed to rapidly schedule a meeting.  Amazing how one little meeting can get you in so much hot water!  Yesterday afternoon, the director of the hospital was standing in my office, so angry he was beyond words.  He put both of his hands into fists, pushed them down, and expelled air through his clenched teeth.  All I could say was "yes, I did that, with the help of Dr. _____, I am sorry."   The day before, someone else was in my office crying about it.  Yes, literally crying.  Jeez, Louise.

After the meeting, Dr. ______, my boss, and someone else had a meeting to discuss WTF occurred.  Two of us worrying if we will keep our jobs.

I tend to be a careful person.  One of my first bosses told me I had to get over my fear of making mistakes.  He said I could never make a mistake if I never did anything, but I would never do anything.   And if I did things, I would make mistakes.

If you have grown up in a home where a mistake (perceived or real) will get you knocked around, it is hard to learn that perfectly good people make mistakes and the world does not end.  I feel like I have spent a large part of my life learning that.

But in this "zero tolerance" world, mistakes are absolutely not tolerated.  There is no room for ambiguity, extenuating circumstances, or understanding.

I am on vacation now for a week and a half.  By the time I get back, this will be blown over... or not.  Whatever.

I have lived through worse, and it will be OK.

At least I didn't cry about it.

God has seen me through many things that were so terrifying it makes me pale to even remember.  This is nothing in comparison!

I think I will stay sober today, and I hope you do too.  (I am going out with my running group this morning in the 40º rain, eeeek!  wish me luck.)