Remembering

I wanted to say first:  there is a new blogger, a young man named Kyle, who is going to his first ever meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous today.  If you have a second, go over and say hello.  

Yesterday, reading about an experience of blogger Steveroni, I was reminded of something that happened years ago.  I was sober 6 years, and living with my new husband in northern Washington.  Things got very bad between us (dangerously bad), and I left our home.  I had nowhere to go, so I drove to a nearby town and got a motel room.  I sat on the bed.  It seriously occurred to me that I had two choices: drinking or suicide.  At that point, those honestly seemed like my only options.  

I knew that I did not want to drink.  I had no question about that.  And although I was desperately unhappy because of my heartbreaking marriage, I didn't really want to die.  But what was I to do in a motel room in Mount Vernon, Washington?  

Thanks to six years of sober experience, I picked up the phone.  I didn't call my sponsor.  For some reason, I called a woman in AA who I was not particularly close to.  I think calling her was one of those intuitive thoughts that come to us.  She answered her phone.  I said "Hi Jeri."  Without hesitation or any other small talk, she said "where are you?"  I told her.  She didn't ask any more questions, she just said, "I will be right there."  

No kidding.  She didn't need me to tell her anything.  She knew I was in trouble and without a second's hesitation, she drove over to help me.  She did help me.  We went and ate - I hadn't eaten in a while.  She listened to me.  She showed her care and concern for me, and that was a revelation to me.  

Of course, I did end up going back to my husband and things got much worse for a couple more years.  But I will never forget how Jeri came to that motel room and likely saved my life.  I was in serious trouble.  

I hope that I have been able to express my gratitude forward.  I hope that I have been able to be the kind of person who answers the phone and hops in the car.  I know that sometimes I haven't wanted to be.  Sometimes I would just like to not always be "on call."  But we really need to never quit being on call for another brother or sister alcoholic.   I owe my very life to Jeri and others just like her.  

"I once knew a woman who was crying before a meeting. She was approached by a five-year-old girl who told her, 'you don't have to cry here. This is a good place.  They took my daddy and they made him better.'  That is exactly what AA did for me; it took me and made me better.  For that I am eternally grateful."  -- Alcoholics Anonymous (4th ed.), p. 431