I am a morning person. I have been all my life. There was a brief period when I was married to my sober husband that I adopted his night owl hours. I discovered some of the attractions of those hours. After about 8 or 9 p.m., there was a certain freedom. I knew the phone was not going to ring, and no one was going to knock on the door. The mail was not going to come. No Fed Ex or UPS deliveries. I was asleep during the hours when responsible people should be able to respond. There was a certain freedom in that. Of course, at that time everything else was feeling oppressive and I feared most intrusions of the outside world... with good reason.
When I was trying to crawl out of the sickness of that relationship, I started getting up in the morning and going to bed at night. I always loved the morning, but I think I learned to relish it after living in the darkness for a while. Even after 20 years, I haven't forgotten how much I love being up with the sunshine and available and able to respond to life.
My disposition is different in the morning. I think it is a better time for me to write.
This morning I spent some time looking for an olympic distance triathlon (1 mile swim, 25 mile bike ride, 10K run) to register for next summer. That is my goal for the year I am 60 years old. I am excited about this. Should I go away somewhere exotic for this? Should I stay in Colorado? So many questions. So much excitement. So much gratitude for being healthy enough for this!
You know what else I am grateful for? The six month break I took from this blog. I was sick to death of it before I stopped. I was losing sleep over it! Every negative comment (I get lots of them, usually one a day) was eating at me. When I came back, I wasn't sure I was going to continue. I thought I would try it for 30 days. Well, I have loved it for the last six months. I enjoy reading your blogs. I enjoy the fellowship we share. I love writing and missed it when I was away. And the negative comments? I delete them and work to not think about them once they are gone.
OK, gotta hit the treadmill. And get to work.
God has such better plans for me than I have for myself. Left to my own devices, I would be a 2 pack a day smoker and hopeless alcoholic. And for a 60 year old woman, that is NOT ATTRACTIVE!
8 comments:
I am glad that you are back to blogging. I missed you while you were gone. You also seem softer to me now, happier I think.
Here is a link to one of the 2012 tri events for Charleston: http://trycharleston.org/
It is a lovely town!
I enjoy my return to blogging as well. This is my life, no shame-no regrets-no apologies. And I SO enjoy the sharing with others!
You are the second person I check in with each morning. MrSP is the first. Before my feet hit the floor gotta see what the two of you have been up to so I can begin my day with a smile. I am VERY grateful you are blogging again ...
Thanks for bogging, like Tam said I check you first thing in the morning. I wonder why negative comments, they must have negative lifes. Love your words they help this sober person who is so far away from home (moved to Japan) stay sober one day at a time.
I am so glad you have decided to keep posting in the morning. I live in the southeast and read your blog before going to work pretty regularly (this shows me how much earlier you get up than me!). It has become a great way for me to feel connected to the program... Even on those mornings when I'm not feeling very spiritual and not putting enough emphasis on meditation, I still manage to read it. Keep it up!
I am so glad you're back.
I read you just after you've turned your light off when you post at night, with the sun coming up in the southern hemisphere -- and if you post in the morning, I read you in the late afternoon here. You might be a continent and several oceans away, but I feel like a sober next-door neighbour.
triathlon! Are you mental! :-)
The very best of luck with it, it is an extremely laudable goal... There is just noway I could do the run, my knees just wouldn't take it :-)
Furtheron,
Of course I am mental! But an olympic distance tri has a mere 6 mile run. Which is 20 miles less than a marathon. So, this is actually much easier than what I have spent the last 2 years training for.
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