The pillars and posts of collective memory - now my pillars and posts are shared with only a few. Not the majority. I am now of an older generation. Most of us are retired or are nearing retirement.
I learned over the weekend that one of my friends in early sobriety has died. A friend called and casually asked "did you know john ___?" I sat down and said "NO! Don't tell me he died!" He said "I'm sorry honey." So tomorrow I shall go to a funeral.
He was the older brother of my best friend. The woman I talked to on the first day I was sober. The one who hard-selled me into going to my first meeting. She was my sponsor for a few weeks, until I realized we would make better friends than sponsor/sponsee. We were the best of friends. I don't know if I have ever had such a close relationship. We not only got together very very often, but we talked on the phone for at least an hour a day until I was sober 13 or so years, when she moved to England (and then started drinking again). We called each other "sister," my kids call her "aunt." I was part of their family. Her older brother was also sober. We went to meetings together. We had holiday dinners together. We were "family." He was also my family doctor until I joined an HMO that he wasn't a part of. And now he is deceased.
I have not heard from my former BFF. (Our relationship went to hell in a hand-basket when she started drinking again.) I cannot imagine that she won't be here for the funeral. I will go there tomorrow afternoon and mourn the loss of a good man, and maybe see my best friend. I have not seen her since 1999 when her mother died. She stayed with me at that time.
Pillars and posts of my life... some have left and some are leaving. I better get used to it.
Because, one day at a time, I intend to stay sober - no matter what happens. By the Grace of God.
7 comments:
I'm very sorry for your loss.
And I mentioned the film JFK in my blog post without realising the date. I remember seeing the play Kennedy's Children years ago and thinking about the impact on a generation.
Mandela's imprisonment was the same for us. I used to sit on Signal Hill and look out at Robben island thinking of him there for so many years, so unjustly.
I only remembered about today's date when I saw the title of your post. I usually think about it all by my little old self.
In some ways, I recall that day like it was yesterday. But that would mean I'm in the third grade still.
I had forgotten. And of course, I remember hearing the news. We were sent home from school and my mother was watching TV and crying. I was scared because my mother never watched TV and never cried.
Yes, it was a terrible day those many years ago. An uncle died on the same day. Lots of loss whose impact has been dulled with time. I am sorry about your friend John. It will happen more and more, the older we get.
I remember this day too. Sorry for yur loss. Somehow it never occured to me until it started happening that I would have to endure the loss of my friends.
Oh I'm sorry you've lost someone, and I'm sad that we are now at the age where losing people becomes more frequent. I hope you get to see your friend, won't that be a nice hug?
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