I spoke at a meeting. My story in 20 minutes... well, I made it 25. And then I apologized for running over.
After the meeting a young woman came over and talked to me. She just got out of a month long treatment program. (My daughter is a graduate of the same program, she enjoyed being at a mountain resort for a month, but she certainly did not stay sober.) Anyway, she asked me if I could sponsor her. And I said "no." I have never done that before.
My sponsor has been telling me to do that for years. First, I am sponsoring enough people to drive me to distraction at times. Second, she says I have no business sponsoring a new person in AA anymore.
I usually go ahead and say "yes" anyway. But today I didn't.
There was another woman standing with us who immediately said, "I am looking for a new sponsee." I thought "how wonderful!" She wants to sponsor someone right now. I don't. She will do a good job. I would probably do a grudging job. And that would not be good for anyone.
Today I talked about the principle of rotation. It is a wonderful principle that I firmly believe in.
And then I think I got to see some of that in action. When I let go of filling the spaces, someone else, much more appropriate, gets to have that opportunity.
There is no waste in God's economy.
9 comments:
Well, as long as there is another there to sponsor, it will work out. I need to turn down a few but find that I say Yes without regret.
Just curious ... why would your sponsor say that you have no business sponsoring a new person in AA anymore? I would think with all of your sobriety you'd be a perfect sponsor.
Yeah I am wondering why you shouldn't sponsor a new person in AA and I am also wondering, did you mean you had never shared your story before today? Or you had never said "no" to a potential sponsee before?
So many questions.....but I can't believe you have never shared your amazing story in a meeting....no, it must be the saying "no" part is what you meant. lol
I am glad that you did what you felt you needed to do and I would love to hear about your "principal of rotation" Is that what it was called? I can't go back and look.....I will lose my whole rambling comment, God forbid!
In the last year or two when sponsoring a new woman and wondering what the hell to do, I will call my daughter - who is sober nearly 3 years now. She will know immediately what the person needs to do. I no longer do.
I am good at sponsoring people later in sobriety. And that is a better role for me to fill in AA. Every time I sponsor a newcomer, I am depriving someone else of that opportunity.
I will write more about rotation later... but it is about moving on and trusting God that someone will fill the position instead of hanging on to it and depriving others of the opportunity.
Oh how I wish we had women with 1-5 years in my area who were willing to sponsor in my area.
And yes, sometimes...I just don't know "where" they are in their head like my daughter does.
Oh how I wish we had women with 1-5 years in my area who were willing to sponsor in my area.
And yes, sometimes...I just don't know "where" they are in their head like my daughter does.
Great post -- left me with many questions, most of which you have answered here in the comments. Thank you!
Most young alcoholics today take drugs too. It's a different generation, and maybe it takes "one to know one."
Lou, it's not really a "different generation." We did a lot of drugs in the 60s and 70s too.
Singleness of purpose - if we are all alcoholic, we all speak the same language. No matter what else we have done.
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