Wednesday, December 01, 2010

I'm Alive and Sober

Several of you have asked, so I will answer. I am OK. I am well.

I have just run out of words to share on this blog. I don't know if it is permanent or not. I have prayed and will continue to pray about it.

I hesitated to write about this because I thought of the comments. But I thought of how I hate it when others have shut off their comments - like a big middle finger to their readers.

Did you see the last Seinfeld episode? At the end of the show, they had run out of things to say to each other. I feel that way now. I may be back, I may not be. I really don't know. I have posted on this damn thing every single day for over 5 years. The entire story of my life is here. The events of the past five years have been detailed here. I just don't have anything left to say, indeed, I feel like I have said way, way, way too much.

But I will stay sober today, and hope you all will too.

52 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your life, experience, strength and hope for the last five years.

It has been such a help to me and I am sure to many others.

I do hope you will leave your blog up for others to read, and maybe occasionally let us know you are still here being sober.

Blessings.

Syd said...

I thought perhaps that might be the case. I struggle with what to say as well. I morph back and forth between sharing my life in recovery and simply sharing my discovery of life. Maybe they are one and the same. Keep in touch, come back if you choose, but don't just go away totally. Just a plea.

AnyEdge said...

I've been feeling less enthusiastically forthcoming as well lately. Hmpf. We'll see. I'll miss you if you go.

Ms Jones said...

Since I began reading your blog sometime ago, I look forward to coming to work and jumping in to see what you have posted. I understand your frustration but out of sheer selfishness, I hope you do not stop. Somedays your the best big book I see. AND you have inspired me to begin my own blog. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Kim A. said...

Enjoy the holidays, enjoy your family, enjoy your own company, enjoy the fellowship..whatever you decide will be the right thing for you.

♥namaste♥ (I will miss your e,s and h)

dAAve said...

It is what it is.

steveroni said...

"...But I will stay sober today..."

Yep! Even I can do that.
Thanks.

wendy said...

I can relate to your feelings.

Hope you had a good day.

Willa said...

Thanks for sharing with us what you have...you have helped me so much. I understand the running out of words. I would definitely miss you. But you need to write mostly for yourself, not us. You help us incidentally in the process of writing.

Carverlane said...

Have a nice rest, Mary! And I am always happy to read your words whenever you feel like sharing.

Hope said...

I'm glad all is well. I was worrying you'd been in an accident. I know. My brain can take me to the extreme in such a short amount of time.

Andrew said...

Be well Mary Christine.

Mary LA said...

I understand how you feel but I will miss you so much. There are not many of us recovery bloggers left when I look back a few years on those who have left.

Jackie said...

Thank God you are safe, I also thought you were in an accident. Thank you so much for your words, they have helped me immensly in my 2 years and a bit thus far of sobriety. I hope you don't go, but if you must, be well and thank you.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Writers blog ...erp...I mean block.

LOL

Just so ya know, you're missed.

:)

A lot of times, when I get bloggers block I just read others blogs and comment in gratitude, in contemplation, (sometimes in response...erp) just appreciating this amazing fellowship that has grown up around me in the bloggosphere. So far, I've been inspired to stay around with a group that has brought me much joy, much inspiration, good direction and a lot of serenity. From being here with you, another set of friends and fellows in recovery.

Thanks for holdin' out as long as you can. You have been a light along the trudge!

Jeremy said...

Thank you for always sharing. Enjoy your holidays!!!

offbooze said...

If it is stressful to post, then you've got an obligation to yourself to find a different outlet. I'm sure the idea behind posting here was to have a secure location for somewhat private thoughts, at least those that you can't explicitly share with many, and if it has become something different than that, okay. But please be careful and realize that you don't owe your readers anything by writing here, only yourself.

Anonymous said...

THE HOLY SPIRIT

The Holy Spirit will not be subject to human reason. This is the fundamental problem with Protestantism.

The intellect becomes one’s compass for truth, instead of the Living Voice of the Holy Ghost.

The proper use of reason is to believe in and serve the Divine Revelation revealed by the Holy Ghost in the Church, not to criticize what is revealed endlessly until you satisfy your intellect.

The intellect is only perfected after it has accepted the divine truths that God reveals to it.

Anonymous said...

From reading your blog for many months, it appears you've been struggling on what to do with it, and how/whether to share your stories of e, s, and hope with oftentimes total strangers. I can't improve on many of the loving suggestions here.
You have my gratitude for it all.

Wishing you continued joy in your recovery, and Peace! during this spiritual season.

Marcia S.

Todd HellsKitchen said...

Enjoy your day(s)!!!!

Eve said...

The past few months, I've enjoyed each day looking forward to your blog. Thank you so very much for sharing your journey.

If you feel this is the end of your blogging journey, I totally understand and am grateful for your many words. Take care, MC.

Bruce said...

I hope you come back soon, and I apologize for being so distant.

Your blog has been a huge source of inspiration and strength for me. Having a bad day today I went to see what was going on with Mary Christine and I saw this. :(

Don't worry... it won't make me drink!! Just know you will be extremely missed, at least by this alcoholic.

Your words, your thoughts, the caring and compassion you've shown me, a complete stranger - I cannot find any words to express my gratitude. Just know that you've kept me sober many a time on this journey. Thank you so very much for everything.

I'll leave you with a quote thats getting me through my day:

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” -Steve Jobs

God Bless!

Scott said...

Hi MC :-) I hope you're well... share when you're ready, no worries, no pressure. We;ll be around and will be here when you're writing again. Goodness knows I've gone through my dry patches with writing.

Love ya!

ScottF

Carverlane said...

Hey, isn't it your birthday on Wednesday, December 15th?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARY!

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

The hard part about blogging is I begin to feel connected to some people in shared experiences and then, when the blog experience looses spirit and power the person becomes a memory instead of a connection in recovery. You are a good memory shared!

You came very strongly to mind starting yesterday and now I know why.

Just wanted to let you know that you are thought of fondly and in thought there is always a prayer for good blessings!

Happy Birthday a bit in advance... here's to another year filled with more blessings and beauty than your heart can contain!

kevin blumer said...

i never seem to run out of words bloging i never run out of comments im sober to its hard to do to stay sober but can be done i never turn my commnents off but i do get attacked quite a bit of spammmers and some of there comments actualy hurt having bpd sometimes i do wounder if its delibrite or not sometimes with a blog you need a bit of a push off your readers to keep going

Anonymous said...

TIME TO MOVE ON!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Mary Christine

Syd said...

Happy 59th birthday MC. Hope that it is a good day.

Anonymous said...

I have been dry for just over a week. I hope to go to my first AA meeting on Wednesday. I came across your blog just now. It's all support, and encouragement, that's always going to be needed. Even if you don't wish to post, this is another plea, to Please leave it on-line. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Just want to wish you a Merry and Joyous Christmas, Mary Christine.
I will keep checking your blog from time to time....just in case you take up blogging again. Everybody needs time off once in awhile and you certainly deserve a rest.
God bless you!
Ann P.

nancyg said...

I've been reading for four and a half years. I'm grateful for your service and I wish you the best.

daisymay said...

Hope you are having a wonderful Christmas MC.

All the best for the new year.

daisymay

A old friend said...

When I need you most, I find you are gone. I am sad.

Hope said...

Happy New Year MC. I bet Christmas was wonderful with the new grandbaby. I think of you often.

Sasmita said...

You are in a great mission Mary - My best wishes!
Life is so beautiful without alcohol & drug addiction. Hope it'll be useful -
http://discoverlifestyle.blogspot.com/2010/12/how-to-stay-away-from-addiction.html

Elizabeth R. said...

I hope you will soon overcome your bloggers block..Reading other peoples experience is really helping me right now.

Elizabeth
www.countingdays.org

Anonymous said...

I really wish you'd keep on going! This blog has been an inspiration to me.

Anonymous said...

New to the blog and appreciate your blog, photos, and talk of how you are living your AA program. Thank you as I am sure you have blessed others too!

William said...

Mary Christine,

Have you reconsidered returning to your blog? I check every couple of days and leave feeling disappointed each time! I wish you would post whenever the spirit moves you... Doesn't have to be every day.. Let us know how you are doing, please.

Anonymous said...

I know the "please come back" comments are really tugging at your heart sweet tulip. Hope you are well and happy.
Pammie

Vanessa said...

I have been reading your blog. I started at the beginning a couple of weeks ago and I can't stop reading about your life. I LOVE the way you make being sober soooooo enjoyable and full of life. I feel that I have known you all my life ( I am only 35...lol). I hope that one day you come back to blogging because I will sooo miss your ways with words. BTW...I am only on your 2007 year on the month of September. Your son has been home and you seem to be going thur some life changes. I also want you to know that I have started running instead of drinking.

Thank you!!!

LearningByReading said...

My best to you in your quest for sobriety. I know how much energy is required to sustain it!

Annette said...

Hey MC, I was just thinking about you.I hope you are well and happy. Just want you to know you are not forgotten around here. ((HUG))

Alcohol Rehab New York said...

Hi MC, thanks for sharing your life experiences with your blog and I love it. I hope you are well and looking forward to seeing you come back soon.

PJ said...

You have not "said too much." I totally get being burned out and not feeling like you have anything left to say. That's why I go for months without posting at times. This place is just like the rooms, though. No matter how long you're away, you're always welcome to come back whenever it's right for you. Much love and prayers for blessings in your life. xo

Carverlane said...

Still miss you, Mary! I keep checking back, hoping you'll post a little something now and then.

Trailboss said...

I miss you girl. Hope to see you back soon.

Anonymous said...

I recently finished reading through all the archives of your blog. What a wonderful journey it was! Thanks for sharing your life with us here on the internet. You gave me much hope for my own future. I hope you are well.

- abstinent from compulsive overeating 30 days, sober 19 days

Shawn said...

Thanks for sharing your life and hope.

I can tell you from experience that there is a nutritional approach works wonders to help stop alcoholism. I struggled for years trying all sorts of “programs” including AA before I finally found out about the biochemical solution for alcoholism. For me, the physical cravings for alcohol were the problem, not the mental need to “escape” through drinking.

What I discovered is common sense – I couldn't stop the physical craving with “talk therapy”. I had to correct my biochemistry and change to an intense no sugar diet with several types of nutrients. When I took the sugar out of my diet, the physical cravings eventually went away because there is no “trigger” in the form of sugar or alcohol to start the vicious cycle.

I know this all sounds crazy and does not fit what the mainstream media, doctors and pharmaceutical companies say about alcoholism (draw your own conclusions here…) But at the end of the day, nothing else worked.

Thanks for the post!

SFM said...

Thanks for having this blog - I'm just starting out on my recovery-esque blog journey and it's great stumbling upon others doing the deal. Thanks for sharing your truth here.

http://seanmarrin.com

Cheeky said...

Glad to hear this!