First disclosure is: I am in pain. I am not running. I am very upset that I am likely not going to be able to even do a half-marathon in 3 weeks when I am in Alaska and registered to run. I have taken some prescribed vicodin for pain (a lot less than prescribed). All of these things are adding up to me being somewhat wacky this morning I am afraid.
I went to my usual 6:30 a.m. Saturday meeting this morning. It was a good meeting. Someone actually opened up and talked about something that was really upsetting to him. I had just been sitting there looking around the room and wondering what we were all doing there. I looked around the room and thought "how much do I know about any of these people?" Do we just sit around and repeat the same things over and over? People are pretty good at talking about "what it was like, and what happened." But I think people aren't so good about talking about "what it is like now." Other than in broad generalities... like I got sober and now everything is great. Oh really, how does that work?
So, I talked. I talked about the lady who is new to our group who last week put her hand on my shoulder and told me in a loud and over-annunciated voice that she was glad I was still coming... that a month ago I looked really bad... but I look better now. I was dumbfounded - to realize that she thought I was new, and that this must be how she treats new people. Wow. So condescending and insulting!
I guess because I don't preface every share of mine with my sobriety date (because I think that is just arrogant) and because I don't pretend I am the picture of serenity every second of every day, I don't look that great. Too bad. So I shared about this today. And got quite a bit of shit for it.
I have an attitude this morning I guess.
Tonight I am going to visit my daughter in rehab. It is probably an hour and a half drive each way. It will be good for me to hit the road and see my girl.