Sunday, May 04, 2008

Sunshine Superman


That's an old song by Donovan. Sunshine came softly through my window today... could have tripped out easy, but I've changed my ways... Love that song!

Sunshine did come softly through my window today. It is a sunny day. I am about to put my running skirt on and head out the door for my "make or break" 17 mile run. If I can do this, I will continue to train for a marathon. If I cannot do it, I will joyfully decide to run a half marathon in June. Which will mean that I can cut back drastically on my mileage. This makes it sound like the decision is already made - but it isn't.

Yesterday my neighbor and I took our annual trip to the garden shop.  I bought the above mandevila for my front porch.  I don't know the first thing about mandevilas, but it sure is pretty.  Hopefully it will thrive.  

I spent a lot of time in fellowship with AA folks yesterday.  It was good.  I went out for breakfast after the meeting.  I went to an AA function at a fellow member's home - where I spent hours on a deck, looking at a spectacular view of the mountains, sitting with friends and laughing so much I got a headache.  I brought a strawberry pie, and people literally lined up for a piece, as I doled it out.  Those who didn't get a piece complained loudly.  My pies are getting a reputation!

I talked about my nightmares a lot yesterday.  And do you know what?  Last night I did not have one.  I slept like a baby all night long.  Some people are mighty uncomfortable with me, as a person with long-term sobriety, talking about problems like I was a newcomer or something!  Am I here for them?  No.   I am here for me.  Sorry.  I do not go to meetings for anyone but me.  If I should help someone while I am there, that is great.  But I have not reached the pinnacle, the mountain-top, where I no longer am in any danger of drinking - I am an alcoholic.  And if there is one thing I have learned from 23 and 3/4 years in Alcoholics Anonymous - it is that we are never cured.  We are never immune.  I am just as much a drunk as I was when I hit the doors.   By the Grace of a Loving God, I get to live a sober and most of the time happy life today.  And when I have a problem?  I am going to talk about it.  

Have a blessed sober day today.  XXXOOO!!!

7 comments:

Ditaur said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Zane-nawwaa said...

You go ghurl. I am a firm believer in talking about whatever you need to talk about to keep yourself sane and sober. To me, there is not a verboten topic. I love the attitude. I wonder if that is why you are crashing in on 25 years. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Don't need to ponder that one at all. Enjoy the sun. Flowers are gorgeouseroni.

dAAve said...

Don't be silly.
Your pies have had a reputation since you've been sober.

Scott W said...

**s.w.a.k.**

I love Donovan! He was so cute!

Pam said...

I'm anxious to hear how you did and if your skirt made you run faster...little chickpea.

Kathy Lynne said...

Isn't that one of the paradoxes of this program? The fine line between selfishness & selflessnes. By helping ourselves, by sharing our struggles we help someone else. And by helping someone else, our own struggles seem to become less burdensome. At least that has been my experience in my 3/4 year here in AA:) I like that we are not cured because it means we have to remain vigilant in our program in order to remain recovered. I am very grateful for the people in my meetings who've got the 1, 5, 10, 23 and 40 years on me that continue to come and continue to share their life. I don't want to be preached at...I want to identify. I want to see that it works in spite of life's curve balls.

Anyway, blah, blah, blah....hope the run went well. Whatever happens it is the way it was supposed to be.

Kathy Lynne said...

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. - Abraham Lincoln

I just read this elsewhere and it brought me back here...substitute the word sobriety for life....and I think it applies to what you have been talking about.