Tuesday, April 03, 2007

20,000 visits

Yesterday this blog had its 20,000th visit. I don't know who the visitor was. I am grateful that people actually read this blog. I think it is quite an honor that we alcoholics listen to each other... and read each other. At one of the first AA meetings I attended, a man talked about how bizarre it is that in a room full of alcoholics, one person talks at a time, and we all listen! I really thought about that, I still consider it one of the most remarkable things about AA.

As a person who grew up in an alcoholic home, I was always told to be quiet, shhhhhh, don't be so dramatic, don't tell, don't talk about this outside of this house, etc. This seems to be some of the last baggage from childhood to leave. When someone criticizes something I have said - as in telling me I shouldn't have said that, or criticizes something I didn't say - as in telling me what urgent AA message I didn't share - I think I totally overreact. It is old stuff for me.

I consider it an honor that people listen to me in a meeting. I consider it an honor that people read my blog. Thank you.

I am going to get out and run 5 miles this morning as soon as it is dawn-ish outside. Once again, I had early morning waking... wide awake at 3:00 a.m., even though I didn't get to sleep until almost 11:00 last night. This is not enough sleep for me, but hopefully I will get some good sleep tonight.

Yesterday I was able to write up a list of my acccomplishments for my performance evaluation. Now it is out of my hands. Phew.

And an update on my daughter: She is now clean and sober one week. She is getting herself to a meeting every day, most of the time on the bus. I have tremendous respect for anyone who takes public transportation to meetings. Somehow I think they are more meaningful when you really have to work to get there.

"Dr. Bob did not need me for his spiritual instruction. He had already had more of that than I. What he did need, when we first met, was the deflation at depth and the understanding that only one drunk can give to another. What I needed was the humility of self-forgetfulness and the kinship with another human being of my own kind." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 212


Scott said...

I love your blog MC, really... I get a lot of wisdom and pace from you and I am rgateful to have "met" you! Thanks for your kinds words on my blog... means a lot!

That is really great about your daughter, especially riding the bus, that really makes sense... I know I would be able to find excuses not to go if I had to ride the bus... I'll be praying for you and yours!

dAAve said...

I try to be always willing to listen - just not always willing to absorb.
Expereience the day!!

Syd said...

I experienced a lot of denial growing up in an alcoholic home. I was told not to tell people anything because then they would know as much as I did. What a relief it was to finally talk about all that I've experienced. It felt good and still feels good. Thanks for sharing your spirit and hope on here.

lushgurl said...

***doo-doo-doo-doo--theme from Twilight Zone playing here*
Yeah , I know- keep coming back LOL!!
Umm , so the sister thing again, don't think, don't feel, don't talk, don't tell... WOW!
You are always one of my first stops on my blog-stalking tour, and I am so grateful that I get to hear you.
love ya lots...HUGS

recoveryroad said...

"As a person who grew up in an alcoholic home, I was always told to be quiet, shhhhhh, don't be so dramatic, don't tell, don't talk about this outside of this house, etc."

Yup. Thousands of miles away but I got the exact smae. **grins**

Congrats on 20K+ visitors!


Trudging said...

I am glad you found your voice and an outlet for your voice.

vicariousrising said...

I love walking to my AA meetings. It's about a half an hour's walk each way, and I like the work it takes to get there and back. It's like part of the recovery for me. I'm glad the weather is better now and I can resume this. My head needs the air and my body needs the exercise.

Congratulations on the 20,000 visits! Your blog was one of the first sober blogs I visited when I first started poking around the blogosphere. And I keep coming back!

Meg Moran said...

you know I never thought of it this way..that we have a voice, after being silenced. So much to think about now. Thanks MC

Diego said...

Great stuff, not surprised why you have that many hits...Glad to hear that your daughter is making the effort to go to meetings and staying clean. As you know, its real easy to fall off the wagon in the beginning. Give her my regards. Oh, and maybe she'll start a blog...

Sober Chick said...

You have this energy that the blogWorld is driven too. I can only imagine what it would be like in real life, in the meetings you attend :)

Good for your daughter, and even better for what you as a mom must be experiencing. WOW!

Shannon said...

I just love you. 5 miles.. wow

I am up to 3 miles walking and eliptical now. I have lost.... dun dun dun.... 15lbs... that right wooohoooo. One of the many ways you always inspire me.

I am so glad to hear about your daughter, one day at a time is amazing.

Get some rest tonight

SoberSteve said...

I love the sobber blogging world also. I would be lost with out every. I also love going to meeting and hearing everyones story.


lash505 said...

I know that I am 10,000 of the 20,000. love ya MC

Scott W said...

Dang, I wanted to be # 20,000!

AAwoken said...

k, I'll fess up. I was the magical 20,000th one. And for that I was chosen to receive the grand prize.

Which will promptly be taken away for mentioning that I wass the 20,000th one.