Yesterday this blog had its 20,000th visit. I don't know who the visitor was. I am grateful that people actually read this blog. I think it is quite an honor that we alcoholics listen to each other... and read each other. At one of the first AA meetings I attended, a man talked about how bizarre it is that in a room full of alcoholics, one person talks at a time, and we all listen! I really thought about that, I still consider it one of the most remarkable things about AA.
As a person who grew up in an alcoholic home, I was always told to be quiet, shhhhhh, don't be so dramatic, don't tell, don't talk about this outside of this house, etc. This seems to be some of the last baggage from childhood to leave. When someone criticizes something I have said - as in telling me I shouldn't have said that, or criticizes something I didn't say - as in telling me what urgent AA message I didn't share - I think I totally overreact. It is old stuff for me.
I consider it an honor that people listen to me in a meeting. I consider it an honor that people read my blog. Thank you.
I am going to get out and run 5 miles this morning as soon as it is dawn-ish outside. Once again, I had early morning waking... wide awake at 3:00 a.m., even though I didn't get to sleep until almost 11:00 last night. This is not enough sleep for me, but hopefully I will get some good sleep tonight.
Yesterday I was able to write up a list of my acccomplishments for my performance evaluation. Now it is out of my hands. Phew.
And an update on my daughter: She is now clean and sober one week. She is getting herself to a meeting every day, most of the time on the bus. I have tremendous respect for anyone who takes public transportation to meetings. Somehow I think they are more meaningful when you really have to work to get there.
"Dr. Bob did not need me for his spiritual instruction. He had already had more of that than I. What he did need, when we first met, was the deflation at depth and the understanding that only one drunk can give to another. What I needed was the humility of self-forgetfulness and the kinship with another human being of my own kind." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 212