Friday, April 20, 2007

Today is

30 days until the half-marathon. Yikes.
7 days before I leave for Texas.
4 days before my quarterly report to Governing Body.
1 day before I go back to blonde hair (from red).
The day I get to go to the dentist.
8 years from the day that the word "Columbine" changed forever from meaning a nice high school or a pretty flower.

And tonight I get to go to the 24th AA birthday of the man who took me to my first AA meeting. I talked to him on the phone for a while last night. It is amazing how free a conversation is with a person I have known for that long. We REALLY talk. It will be nice to be at his birthday tonight.

I really need to be around my old peeps. I love the new meetings I am attending, but miss the old people who really know me, and who I really know. I also miss the maturity of people who have been sober for a long time. I have a dear "new" friend who frequently critiques what I say in meetings. I listen to him because he is sober 7 years, knows the big book inside out and is probably "right". However, he lacks the love and acceptance that come from living a couple of decades in this beautiful program.

I guess it is just the way of the world right now. We have serious problems all over the place and instead of responding in a meaningful way to them, we decide to enforce rigid lack of sense of proportion, sense of humor, sense of common. We are becoming senseless automatons, enforcing rules, memorizing books, and becoming very familiar with the structures but not the hearts and needs of our brothers and sisters. One would think some humble drunks could be a little bit different... oh but get us sober for a day or two and we can be the worst of the lot! And I understand because I have been there.

Okay, I will shut up now and get ready for work.

"We AA's find we need something much better in order to keep our balance. We can't stand it if we hate deeply. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody at all, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 93

10 comments:

dAAve said...

Progress
Not
Perfection

We are cleaning up Lambda Center for your arrival in 9 days. Many newcomers with months instead of years have heard of the looming visit by a neighbor from Colorado and they are really excited and can't wait.
Not.

Syd said...

You are so right about love and acceptance. Maybe I'm way off base here but I don't think it really matters how many years one has but how willing and accepting they are. Some will never have what you write about while others may have it after only a few years. Regardless, it is always a work in progress. Thanks for a great post.

Mary Christine said...

You are correct Syd. It took me years to get any level of love and acceptance, and so I see others who behave the same way as I did.

lushgurl said...

Funny how annoying behaviour in another is like ME looking into a meeting. Hopefully the good I see in you today is also a reflection of where I am, if not, it is where I want to be!
BTW what's wrong with RED hair? LOL I love ya no matter what the colour!
HUGS

lushgurl said...

I meant to say MIRROR LOL, glad I have a meeting to go to!!!

lash505 said...

Ha. watch out for daave.. I think your headed for fun. but remember I bought you dinner.lol

Meg Moran said...

oh I know what you mean...I sometimes wish we could all just take a step back from everything, breathe in a little and ask "what ever happened to "keep it simple"? I try to remember there are really no big deals today.

Scott said...

How awesome, you're going to meet dAAve and Scott and the super nice peeps at Lambda! You will love 'em! I got to meet them almost a year ago when I was in H-Town! Awesome!

I really loved all that you wrote in this post, thanks MC!

I've been watching a lot of stuff on Columbine lately and I still cannot grasp it all...

Scott W said...

So, a little at a time it is.

Christine said...

did you move that you attend new meetings?