Thursday, January 11, 2007

Late Presents

This week I received two Christmas gifts that were delayed due to the snow. My sponsor and her husband sent the book "Emotional Sobriety", and my sister sent the pajamas (FedEx overnighted on December 20 - I got them on January 8). -- I can no longer post a picture to HNT due to it having moved to New Blogger this week.

Yesterday after I wrote about my 5:30 group's format, I thought about it some more. For some reason, I keep seeing the face of a guy who just can't seem to get sober. I just love that guy. I have written about him, with no name, several times in this blog. He has a few days of sobriety now. Anyway, if I were to leave the group, I would no longer see Mike, and not only do I like Mike and like to see him, but his face lights up when he sees me - so why destroy a fragile little tie like that just because of a stupid format. I hope some day to see that guy get sober and stay sober. He is a young guy, probably younger than my kids. But a terrible, terrible drunk.

I am going to try to run outside in my neighborhood this morning for the first time in weeks. It has been warm for the last several days so some of the snow has melted, hopefully I can run on the street. It is supposed to get very cold tonight and then snow tomorrow.

"The person I used to be is always waiting around the corner. If I close my eyes, I can see him. He's wearing a black leather jacket, smoking a butt, leaning with his back against a building and one knee bent. He's waiting for me to split a six-pack and join him in cussing and complaining and cutting down everything from his ex-boss and the Army to the church, academia, the government - and AA. But when I close my lips to vicious talk, the old me gets tired of waiting around for someone to commiserate with him. When I say only positive things, the old me disappears. He flips his cigarette into the gutter, turns up the collar of his jacket, and walks away. He just doesn't want to hear it." -- Emotional Sobriety - the Next Frontier, p. 18

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good point on the group format issue.
I can't get to HNT dashboard either. It just reinforces my point about people fixing things that work.

Trudging said...

Nice P.J's! Good point on the format issue.

NMAMFQLMSH said...

Me either...No HNT site for me. Oh well.
I love the late Christma gifts. I thought of you the other day when I almost but didn't buy "Life is Good" pj's.
JJ

Anonymous said...

HNT has been closed off to all of us.

I think I need that book, that quote has me intrigued.

Give Mike an extra hug from me.

Anonymous said...

Ditto Scott W. Who's the author, may I asked? Gonna find it here but I had a feeling it will not be available.

Books about Recovery, Soberiety are very rare.

Greeting from Malaysia.

Pam said...

ooo you look so comfy! I love the new PJ's.
NOTE: I did not change over, because I've been waiting for someone to tell me why.
I agree about the seeing Mike thing. I get attached to relapsers...I feel the need to keep seeing a familiar face.

Anonymous said...

I cannot connect and I am on the old blogger. I thought I needed to do the switch to connect. It did not help. Perhaps we need to create an entirely new HNT blog and have it linked up to the old one so out memories won't get lost.

Those are wonderful gifts. One to keep you body warm (jammies) and the other to keep your heart warm.

Hopefully Mike will discover what many of us have.

Anonymous said...

Whoops, 4got to sign in with New Blogger info. It was me above. :)

SC

Motorcycle Mike - Sober Biker said...

I hope Mike a lot of other drunks see you at the door regularly. Your story and your sobriety need to be shared, a lot!!

God Bless you for caring enough not to just walk away.

I am going to post some thoughts on this subject.

Mike

Anonymous said...

my wife bought me that book for Christmas, love it! Looks like some nice comfy jams too!

Diego said...

MC, you're right on with the topic of the day...Emotional sobriety....I strive for it daily. Its getting better altough sometimes I sound like I am a basket case, and I am, you see, I just said something negative about me, its so subtle...Better days ahead if I just keep moving forward...Thanks for sharing about your feelings for the newcomer and hopefully you'll get to run... Love you.

BigSkymAAck said...

Those are cool PJ's I like the snow people. I guess if I was in a group and I did not like one or two things or people I would not let them run me off. Especially if there are things I like about the group as a whole. That book sounds good just from the one quote you took out of it. Nobody said you have to count your sobriety in years. We could all count them in months. Better yet we should all just count days after all it is just one day at a time.

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for the past week - and I want to "thank you for sharing." :)
Really, I have needed all the meetings I can get in this past week, and being able to read additional sober-related honesty in my remaining bits of time has been very helpful.

More than I can express… thank you.

lash505 said...

I will be there at the end of the month, we have to go to a meeting or coffee or dinner my treat.

Shannon said...

Oh yes emotional sobriety and maturity. I strive for them

Good morning and Happy Friday. I am thinking of you today and hope you stay warm