Last Saturday in June

This is a recycled photo from a bike ride about this time last year. I ran past this spot this morning on my 8.5 mile run. It was WAY too hot for an eight and a half mile run. If I had gone earlier instead of going to my 6:30 meeting, it would have been OK... but no, I want it ALL!

Last night I had a busy night on the phone. I don't know why I am sharing this, but I am. I was talking on my cell phone with the man I have been dating (but not talking about) who has recently moved away. While I talked with him, my land line rang, it was the man I dated last summer (and regretted talking about here). I got off the phone with man #1, and called back man #2. We talked for over an hour, and my call waiting beeped - it was a man I dated for over 10 years - from the late 80s into the late 90s... on and off (like I was married to someone else for a while during that period)... anyway, after I got off the phone with man #2, I called Mr. Ed. Ed and I talked for a while. He said we should get together some time soon before we pass away... he is so funny. But not that funny because he just turned 68 years old this month and has had a stroke. When I got off the phone with Ed, my cell phone rang - it was man #1 again. We talked for a while and got to wish each other "sweet dreams".

Who cares? Well, apparently I do. I am grateful that I am still friends with nearly all my former loves. One of the women I work with calls me a "dangler", she says that none of my relationships are ever really over... they dangle. I think that is because I have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable... the romantic relationship may need to end, but I always hope that we can remain friendly. And if we are both in AA, and most of my b.f.s have been in AA, I really hope we can remain able to be happy to see each other when we run into each other.

Life is too short and the world is too small to hold grudges or have people I want to avoid.

"But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut outselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66

Quick Note

I am off to a 6:30 meeting - and don't have time to do a "real" post - until after the meeting. But I want to tell you all that I cannot post a comment on anyone's blog. Not even my own. So I have read your blogs, I just can't comment. I hope this gets resolved soon.

"Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 102

Lazy Friday

I don't feel like running this morning! I don't feel like riding my bike either. I guess I could feel happy that I do actually feel like taking a bath and getting ready for work, and that is probably exactly what I will do. This laziness is an unusual feeling for me, and I don't much like it. Aha! I know! I will try to get to work a bit early, so I can go for a swim on my way to the 5:30 meeting tonight. There, thanks for helping me think this one through.

Last night at the 5:30, two of my recently former sponsees raised their hands. One was sitting next to me, she has reached out to me and I have been happy to have been there to support her. The other was sitting across the room. She has not reached out to me, which is fine, but she had also been speaking ill of me (me! ME! Of all people!) in AA meetings prior to starting drinking again. I hope she can get sober, and I really hope she can find someone else to work with her.

I was on the phone too late last night. A day that lasts from 3:15 a.m. til 10:30 p.m. is much too long for me! I am a little tired today, but I am sure I will get going, once I get going.

"Even so has God restored us all to our right minds. To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 57

p.s., I have been having a hard time posting comments, so if it looks like I haven't been around for a day or two, this is why. Is anyone else getting stuck with endless popup "do you want to display non-secure items?" that won't go away?

It works every single day

What they told me when I showed up in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous:

• Don't drink
• Don't think
• Go to meetings
• Read the big book
• Get a sponsor.

By the Grace of a Loving God, it's still working.

"It works it really does." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 88

Bike to Work Day

Today is Bike to Work Day and I am the coordinator of the event at my workplace. I need to get out of here - pronto! And get to work and meet and greet the bikers. I really enjoy this event.

Yesterday I went to visit my friend Larry who is in the hospital. It was lovely to sit with him for a couple of hours. His dinner came and he joked about how he has always wanted to take me out for a romantic dinner - too bad I would just have to sit and watch him eat. The nurses heard this and got me a dinner too, and closed the curtain in the room so that we could have some "ambiance". It was really cute. His heart is really not doing so well, and that is so scary.

While I was sitting with Larry, my phone rang. It was one of my recently former sponsees. She was in crisis. But the good news is, she is finally being honest with me about her drug use. She was hysterically crying and asking me what she should tell people. I suggested she try telling the truth. I pray she will be able to stop.

I am grateful that there are people who are happy to see me today. I am grateful that my former sponsee knew that she could call me, and then she did. I am especially grateful that I get to take this body and put it on a bicycle this morning!

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58

Good Tuesday Morning

I am feeling rather dull this morning - I have no great ideas to write about today. I checked my site meter for recent searches, and imagine my amazement to find a search for "pod people in alcoholics anonymous." And somehow my blog was on the first page of results for that search: 'alcoholic' + 'anonymous' are in my blog name. 'pod' comes up every time I have written about my iPod. But I wonder, what the heck was that person looking for?

Last night, I met with a sponsee after work, and then drove over to an information meeting about a program I have always wanted to do. I don't know how much to write about it. It is a 4 year program of bible study. I signed on the dotted line, and wrote a check! I am so very excited about this. It doesn't start until August, but I will have homework to do before then.

One of the most amazing things to me about this journey is that I can walk right into a church and talk with people. I don't feel that I have to make excuses or tell "white lies" about my life. I feel just fine to sit and talk with the church ladies and gents. I guess there is no huge discrepancy between my values and my actions today - and that my friends - is indeed a miracle! Only by the Grace of a loving God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous (and lots of time) could this have ever happened. And please don't think I think I am perfect, because I am far from - but I am moving in a positive direction.

So now I shall go outside on a beautiful cool summer (it is really summer now dAAve!) morning and run - and then get to work. Life is so incredibly good.

"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. 'How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done.' These are thoughts which must go with us constantly." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 85

Monday AM

I had such a busy weekend and I have such a headache this morning - I really wish I could go back to bed. But instead I will go out and bravely face the world.

I am down to 3 sponsees right now. I think this is a "managable" number. I met with two of them yesterday and I am meeting another tonight. I actually look forward to all of these meetings and don't dread any of them. I am grateful for these women, I love all three of them. I am grateful for this attitude. A while back, I had 6 sponsees, and three of them were so needy, it really felt like a burden. Then I felt guilty for feeling that way.

My son called yesterday from Iraq. It is the first time I have talked to him since the end of April. It was so very good to hear his voice. We talked about his homecoming - which is just a little over a month away. I had a lump in my throat the entire time we were on the phone. When we hung up, I sobbed like a baby. You know, I have not heard him complain once since he has been over there. I know it is difficult. The temperatures get into the 130's in the daytime, and that is just one of the many challenges... there are many. He just says "it is character building." God bless him. I cannot wait to see him, and touch him, and feed him some good mama food. (he has requested lasagna and spaghetti.)

Oh! And I won FIRST PLACE for my lemon meringue pie last week!

"This brought me to the good healthy realization that there were plenty of situations left in the world over which I had no personal power -- that if I was so ready to admit that to be the case with alcohol, so I must make the same admission with respect to much else. I would have to be still and know that He, not I, was God." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 114

Summer of Love

Yesterday Scott W. wrote about being grateful he missed being in San Francisco for the "Summer of Love". I told him that I might write about my experience that summer. I think I will do that today - it is, after all, Sunday when I write these long old posts. (Even though I want to get out and run before it gets too hot.)

In June 1967, I was 15 years old and in Chicago. Spending my summer at the St. Vincent de Paul Home on LaSalle Avenue. It was a lovely old building which housed student nurses and unwed mothers. Guess which group I was with. I was 15 years old and pregnant - which at that time was a big fat scandal. You just did not do things like that! But I did.

It was the first time in my life I had a serious consequence for irresponsible behavior. The summer before, in 1966, at the age of 14, I had picked up my first drink. Within 4 months I was pregnant. I was "in love" with my first boyfriend and was sure we would be married as soon as we were out of high school, and although that sounds stupid, I was at least smart enough to know that there was no way on God's green earth that I was going to be able to care for a baby. So I went away (quietly and secretly) to the St. Vincent home so the nuns could get me through my pregnancy and arrange for the adoption of my baby.

Being at that lovely old building, with the other girls, and the wonderful nuns was one of the best experiences of my life. I loved being there. We stood in the halls and prayed before every meal and before bed, we went to Mass every morning, we prayed, and prayed, and prayed. I spent a lot of time learning how to knit while I was there. I sat on the bed in my room and listened to the radio. So, the "summer of love" was on the radio. I loved the Beatles, but at first did not understand "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band." It was a hot summer in Chicago and I remember the fans always blowing - no such thing as air conditioning in a building that old in those days.

I was sure my life was reformed. I was sure I wasn't going to drink or have sex once I got out of there. But I don't need to tell you how wrong I was.

On August 15, 1967 - nearly 40 years ago, I gave birth to a little baby girl. I named her Mary Catherine - after a beautiful nun from St. Vincent's. I never got to hold her. They took her from me and never let me touch her. I still can't write that without crying. Part of the deal at the hospital was that we were supposed to be able to hold our baby at least once. But the nurses were not enamored of unwed mothers... they told me they did not have time to bring the baby to me - they had "real" mothers to take care of.

My heart was broken. And to add to my misery, I had to go back home. My time at St. Vincent's was over. I had to go back home to my family and my school and my friends. I had left there a little girl - with a little girl's body. I came back a very depressed young woman, with a full-grown woman's body.

When I got back to the "real" world, my friends had gone from being little preppy types to being "hippies". Talk about culture shock! But it took less than a month for me to not only start drinking and having sex again, but also I began using drugs -- and I sure understood Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band then! I was part of the scene, man. I discovered that my true love had been a very busy young man while I was gone, and we broke up. I was so depressed I don't know how I lived through that time. But I did live through that time... as you know.

Addendum to the story: When I was sober a couple of years, I tried to find my daughter and found out that she was looking for me. We corresponded for a while and then she flew from Chicago to Denver to meet me when she was 20 years old. When she got off the plane, we just stared at each other. We could not stop looking at each other. To see someone who is that closely related to you - who you have never met before is an unbelievable experience. The amazing thing was, we didn't know how to relate to each other and so we met just that once. We kept in touch for a while, but I have not been able to locate her since 1990. She was just starting to drink heavily then. I pray she is OK. I pray we will find each other again.

I often think the experience of giving a child up for adoption was the single most life-altering event in my life. I once heard a woman describe it as being a ghost for the rest of your life. There is always something missing. There is always a huge unknown. Every time I say how many children I have, I am essentially lying. I raised 3. But I gave birth to 5. FIVE. One was given away, one was stillborn.

So that is my story of the "Summer of Love." Thank God I am sober today and my life is good. It is abundantly full of beautiful people I love and who love me, by the Grace and Perfect Mercy of God.

"We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 133

AA Birthdays

Today is my friend C's 8th AA birthday. She is also my newest sponsee - new to me, not new to AA. She came around for years, literally years, raising her hand at almost every meeting. It seemed she could not stay sober to save her life, but then something happened and she got and stayed sober. Every morning in my prayers, I thank God for her. What a blessing to be able to be at the meeting where she celebrated her 8 years this morning.

I really didn't give her much of a chance back then when she was raising her hand. I wondered why on earth she kept coming back if she wasn't staying sober. But that shows you how much I know! I am so grateful there is a loving God in charge. If I were running the world, it would be not so nice of a place. But thanks to staying sober, I can stick around and watch what happens and hopefully learn from it. It is always good.

I am going to go out for a "brick" workout now. In training for a triathlon, you need to do workouts where you do more than one sport (which is called a brick, and I don't really know why). So today, I will ride my bike and after I am done with the bike ride, I will quickly change shoes, and go for a run. It is HARD to run after a long bike ride. But it is good.

"I'm happy, because I came to believe -- not only in God, but in the goodness in everyone." -- Came to Believe, p. 45

Friday Morning

That's a picture of my church at slightly before 5 a.m. when I get there each Thursday . I think it is so pretty.
And this is a picture of the corridor just inside the door... I love walking down that long corridor.

It is a beautiful Friday morning, it is cool outside, in the 60's. I can't decide whether to run or to ride my bike down to the lake for a quick swim. If I don't decide soon, the decision will be made for me because I won't have time for the bike ride and swim - and if I take even longer to decide, I won't have time for a run either!

The beginners meeting last night was just wonderful. There are so many newcomers to the 5:30 meeting, I am glad they decided to have a dedicated beginners meeting. I am also incredibly grateful that I started going to this group almost a year ago now. When my son left for Iraq last July, I was beside myself and did not know what to do. But thankfully, after 22 years of sobriety, I had a clue that perhaps I could start by adding more meetings to my schedule! There was a man from my 6:30 a.m. meeting who had always encouraged me to attend the 5:30 meeting, but I never did until last August. As soon as I went to that group, I found a new AA home (but I have not yet decided that it is my home group, that is saved for the group across town with the people I got sober with). I have been embraced into that group, and I have embraced them right back!

During the meeting, I will sit and look at each person in the room and truly look at their faces and remember their names. When I was sober about 10 years, I realized that I didn't know half the people's names in my meetings and I realized it was because I was incredibly self-centered! Me! Really! So now I concentrate on their faces and their names, so that I will see each person individually as a unique human being - not as scenery or extras so that I can have an AA meeting. I remember how much it meant to me when I was new that people remembered my name and welcomed me. Wow. For a drunk that is incredible stuff!

Have a fabulous sober Friday everyone.

"As active alcoholics, most of us are self-centered, and when we come into AA, our behavior can be still motivated by selfishness, self-seeking, self-pity, and self-centered fear. As we stay sober, however, we get released from 'the bondage of self,' as the Big Book puts it. We no longer have to be at the center of the universe. We learn a little humility. We give up the idea that the world must always respond promptly to our demands. We cease trying to run the show - ours and everybody else's. We stop playing God - and it turns out there is relief and freedom in that." -- Emotional Sobriety the Next Frontier, p. 39

Baking when it is 95 degrees outside

Today there is a fundraiser at work and I volunteered to bake a pie. Of course, I didn't know it was going to be a blast furnace when I was baking the pie. I was talking with my friend Larry (thank you Blue Tooth technology) as I was baking and told him that although I was literally sweating over a hot stove there was nothing I would rather be doing. It was great. Now, I just hope I win a prize for those lemon meringue pies! Oh, and Larry gave me permission to turn on my central air. It has been blasting all night. I hope this house will cool off sometime soon - especially since the air conditioning is not working at my workplace.

The chicken lamp was added to the photo for the benefit of my friend Pam, who has an inexplicable fondness for chickens - and should compile a book of her chicken stories.

I am off to church. Happy and Sober Thursday everyone.

"Theology helps me in that many of its concepts cause me to believe that I live in a rational universe under a loving God, and that my own irrationality can be chipped away, little by little." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 294

Another Day

My daughter and granddaughters came over last night. The little ones are both taking karate. They came here straight from their class. It is so nice to see my daughter clean and sober. God willing, and the creeks don't rise, she will have 90 days in a week.

I am heading out of here for a quick run before work. Work is bound to be challenging today, but I will see what I can bring to it instead of what I can take. That seems to work really well.

"Dr. Bob did not need me for his spiritual instruction. He had already had more of that than I. What he did need, when we first met, was the deflation at depth and the understanding that only one drunk can give to another. What I needed was the humility of self-forgetfulness and the kinship with another human being of my own kind." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 212

Bikin' to work

I am biking to work today. It should be a nice day for a ride, even if a bit hot on the way home - and the way home is 95% uphill.

Yesterday after loudly proclaiming on my blog that I wasn't afraid to go to work - when I got to work, I wanted to run away in fear! There was some dreadful news, news that made my hands shake. News that had me walking my loop around the hospital, trying to calm down. But with God's help, I got through the day, and I believe everyone else did too.

After work, I went to the 5:30 meeting. I sat down at about 5:25 and watched people file in and sit down. I said hello to everyone and called them by name. I truly smiled when I saw them. I truly felt happy to see each and every one of them (well, there is one man I am not usually happy to see, but that is the exception, not the rule today). By 5:30 when the meeting started, I felt calm and peaceful, and so happy to be sitting in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, because it is there that I am at home.

I am so grateful that in AA I have learned to love. I have learned that loving is not about finding the right people who are deserving of your love. It is finding love in your heart for what ever people God has chosen to be in your life, and becoming the right person yourself.

"We must think deeply of all those sick ones still to come to AA. As they try to make their return to faith and to life, we want them to find everything in AA that we have found, and yet more, if that be possible. No care, no vigilance, no effort to preserve AA's constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 229

Monday, Yay for Monday!

I am going to try something new in my routine this morning. I am packing up a gym bag and going to the gym to run on the dreadmill, then I will shower and get dressed there - and go to work. I need to work on some speed and I simply don't do it when I am out in nature, admiring all of God's handiwork. I used to come home after the gym and get ready for work here, but adding 12 to 14 miles to my odometer each day with gas prices as they are seems really foolish.

Yesterday we broke records for heat - it was 97 degrees. I sat here and poured sweat and refused to turn on my central air. I don't know why I installed it if I don't use it. I really don't like using it and I really don't like paying for it. I can hear you Houstonians chuckling. No, I would probably not make it in a hot place. I can deal with ice and snow better than I can heat.

I am looking forward to the day. I am always so grateful on Monday mornings, grateful for a life without fear for the most part; a life that I enjoy. For so much of my life Monday mornings were dreaded little deaths. I remember a scuba diving trip to the Florida Keys many many years ago - as we were heading out on the boat, on a glorious day, on the glorious ocean, I wondered why I couldn't feel that great every day. Why couldn't I feel that happy on a Monday morning? Well, now I do!

Have a happy and sober Monday everyone.

"Service, gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted or solved with God's help, the knowledge that at home or in the world outside we are partners in a common effort, the well-understood fact that in God's sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given surely brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer isolated and alone in self-contructed prisons, the surety that we need no longer be square pegs in round holes but can fit and belong in God's scheme of things -- these are the permanent and legitimate satisfactions of right living for which no amount of pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 124

Sunday Morning

I just got home from the 6:30 meeting and then breakfast with some of the women. It was nice. I was chatting with my friend Lee Ann who has recently celebrated a year of sobriety. She was considering registering for Ride the Rockies next year. I got all excited and told her she could definitely do it, and I am thinking about doing it too! Oh my. This would be a stretch. It is a week long bike ride through the mountains of Colorado. I mean, really, really, the mountains - pedaling your own self up and down the mountainous passes.

I am tired today. I had a huge day yesterday and I am beat. I am going to mow the lawn now and then probably take a nice nap. I have no plans for today which is wonderful. I might take a bike ride later on.

Oh, and Lash asked what a tri-suit is, briefly, it is a suit that you use for a triathlon - swimming, riding a bike, and running. There is no place to change your clothes between the three events, so you just wear one thing. I had a link to Danskin to show you what a tri-suit looks like, but I removed it because it had an e-bates pop up - and I HATE THAT!

"When you get right down to it, everyone who has done any amount of successful Twelfth Step work is bound to be the founder of a new life for other alcoholics." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 67

We do what we do

Pam has some great, really great, chicken humor on her blog today. Daave has a video of a puppeteer dancing with 4 puppets to "YMCA". Lash has some weird photo of a bronze humpty dumpty on a wall. It is a good day in sober blog-land.

I feel rather boring today: I slept too late and didn't get to the 6:30 a.m. meeting this morning. I am heading out in a minute or two for my first open-water swim of the year, followed by a bike ride. This should be good, I begin my triathlon training in earnest. One of my neighbors got married in Las Vegas recently and they are having a reception type party this afternoon. And this evening, I supposedly have a date to go to a movie and dinner with an old beau.

And he is why I slept so late today. He called at 9:00 last night and "needed" to talk. He really did need to talk. So I asked him to come over and we took a long walk. It really was beautiful to walk at ten o'clock to about midnight on a beautiful summer night (the same streets I am so familiar with running at 5 or 6 a.m.) WHY, oh WHY, I want to know, why I nearly always start out as an exciting new girlfriend, and end up as a counselor, wiping tears off of sad devastated faces??? I guess it is my lot in life, but it is nothing I would have chosen for myself.

Okay, I am going to go put on my tri-suit for the first time this year and head on out of here. Have a sober Saturday everyone.

"Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man tht he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 98

Waiting for daylight...

So I can go out for a run. I hope to get in a run and quickly bathe and get dressed and get to the 6:30 a.m. meeting. We shall see if this is possible.

It is nice to wake up and feel good. I got a good night's sleep last night - I went to bed just after posting the picture of my bedroom. There was no party next door last night and, indeed, I think there was no noise at all, at least none that woke me up.

I will get to two meetings today. Not because I "need" them, but because I want to go. I love Alcoholics Anonymous and the people in it and even if I really concentrated on it, in this lifetime I could not begin to repay what has been so freely given to me.

"I spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and need it badly. I do it for four reasons:
1. Sense of duty.
2. It is a pleasure.
3. Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip." -- Alcoholics Anonymous (3rd ed.), p. 181 (Doctor Bob's Nightmare)

Two posts in one day!

I know this isn't much of a photo, but to me it captures a mood. The mood is my bedroom. Even though it is still light outside, I can go to bed because those heavy dark moss green velvet drapes shut out the light - with the exception of the little bit of lace curtains I leave open... for air... and sound. I love to listen to the birds as they get ready for bed. I don't know why they sing so much just before dark, but I absolutely love to listen to that.

I bet if you added all the time I slept last night, it would be less than 2 hours. I am tired. I had a grande iced latte from Starbucks yesterday mid-morning and I guess I can't do that anymore. I also had a phone call from a former boyfriend just as I was going to bed - we talked for over an hour and I had plenty to think about when I got off the phone. My neighbors are also out of town and their 21 year old son had a bit of a party (not call the police worthy, but noisy anyway) last night. I don't understand a 21 year old who has a party at his parents house. When I was 21, I had been 3 years on my own. When my son was 21, he was already a veteran of a foreign war. When my daughters were 21, they had been on their own for quite a while. Where does he find other people who want to "party" at his parents' house?

So I should probably turn on the AC and shut my windows, but I so LOVE the sights and sounds. I guess I will turn it on at the first sniff of a party next door, and in the meantime enjoy it while I can.

"Then comes the acid test; can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?" -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 88

The creek is running high

But, by the Grace of a Loving God, I am not. Bike riding on a beautiful summer day is good enough for me!


"...I try to achieve a state of joyful gratitude. When such a brand of gratitude is repeatedly affirmed and pondered, it can finally displace the natural tendency to congratulate myself on whatever progress I may have been enabled to make in some areas of living." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 37

Ordinary Day

I was going to call this a weekday in ordinary time, which is what I thought it was in the liturgical year. However, I discovered that it is actually St. Anthony of Padua Day.

It just feels like an ordinary day to me. I am going to ride my bike to work today and hope to not find too many portions of the bike trail flooded. It rained a LOT yesterday.

Went to the doc yesterday, my pain problem is what I thought it was. My blood pressure is relatively low as I thought it was (100/70). I will find out in the next couple of days about my blood sugar, the doc and I both suspect that it is also low. While there, I went down the hall to see if I could get a mammogram without an appointment (thanks las for reminding me how very important this is), and they were able to get me in - after a quick 15 minutes or so wait.

Maybe the bike ride will energize me.

"The unity, the effectiveness, and even the survival of AA will always depend upon our continued willingness to give up some of our personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare. Just as sacrifice means survival for the individual alcoholic, so does sacrifice mean unity and survival for the group and for AA's entire Fellowship." -- AA Comes of Age, pp. 287-288