Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Bikin' to work

I am biking to work today. It should be a nice day for a ride, even if a bit hot on the way home - and the way home is 95% uphill.

Yesterday after loudly proclaiming on my blog that I wasn't afraid to go to work - when I got to work, I wanted to run away in fear! There was some dreadful news, news that made my hands shake. News that had me walking my loop around the hospital, trying to calm down. But with God's help, I got through the day, and I believe everyone else did too.

After work, I went to the 5:30 meeting. I sat down at about 5:25 and watched people file in and sit down. I said hello to everyone and called them by name. I truly smiled when I saw them. I truly felt happy to see each and every one of them (well, there is one man I am not usually happy to see, but that is the exception, not the rule today). By 5:30 when the meeting started, I felt calm and peaceful, and so happy to be sitting in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, because it is there that I am at home.

I am so grateful that in AA I have learned to love. I have learned that loving is not about finding the right people who are deserving of your love. It is finding love in your heart for what ever people God has chosen to be in your life, and becoming the right person yourself.

"We must think deeply of all those sick ones still to come to AA. As they try to make their return to faith and to life, we want them to find everything in AA that we have found, and yet more, if that be possible. No care, no vigilance, no effort to preserve AA's constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 229

8 comments:

Pam said...

I no longer have a meeting where I know EVERYONE'S name. I miss that, how wonderful that you've been around long enough to know how valuable that is....and are grateful for it.

Scott W said...

...no effort to preserve AA's constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming. I love this quote.

My judgementalness really gets in the way some days, but I am constantly trying to become aware of that. On the days I can drop it totally I am much happier.

dAAve said...

I hope that whatever happened at work will be OK. It wil all work out in the end. If it hasn't worked out yet, it isn't the end.

I don't think there's anyone I dread seeing at a meeting or around Lambda. I have my favorites for sure, but none at the other end of the spectrum. That's a miracle LOL

Meg Moran said...

so grateful we have these rooms to calm our fears and adjust our oulook

Zane-nawwaa said...

Sounds like you applied the program to your life on the receipt of unsettling news. Good for you. You are so positive and I love it. Sorry about the cerviche.

lash505 said...

so true it is like coming home. if you get a cart on the back of your bike you can pull me around denver..

Scott said...

I am glad you were able to work through your difficulties at work and enjoy a meeting afterwards!

Christine said...

you are so loving...

It is finding love in your heart for what ever people God has chosen to be in your life,

thank you