I am biking to work today. It should be a nice day for a ride, even if a bit hot on the way home - and the way home is 95% uphill.
Yesterday after loudly proclaiming on my blog that I wasn't afraid to go to work - when I got to work, I wanted to run away in fear! There was some dreadful news, news that made my hands shake. News that had me walking my loop around the hospital, trying to calm down. But with God's help, I got through the day, and I believe everyone else did too.
After work, I went to the 5:30 meeting. I sat down at about 5:25 and watched people file in and sit down. I said hello to everyone and called them by name. I truly smiled when I saw them. I truly felt happy to see each and every one of them (well, there is one man I am not usually happy to see, but that is the exception, not the rule today). By 5:30 when the meeting started, I felt calm and peaceful, and so happy to be sitting in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, because it is there that I am at home.
I am so grateful that in AA I have learned to love. I have learned that loving is not about finding the right people who are deserving of your love. It is finding love in your heart for what ever people God has chosen to be in your life, and becoming the right person yourself.
"We must think deeply of all those sick ones still to come to AA. As they try to make their return to faith and to life, we want them to find everything in AA that we have found, and yet more, if that be possible. No care, no vigilance, no effort to preserve AA's constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 229