Saturday, June 30, 2007

Last Saturday in June

This is a recycled photo from a bike ride about this time last year. I ran past this spot this morning on my 8.5 mile run. It was WAY too hot for an eight and a half mile run. If I had gone earlier instead of going to my 6:30 meeting, it would have been OK... but no, I want it ALL!

Last night I had a busy night on the phone. I don't know why I am sharing this, but I am. I was talking on my cell phone with the man I have been dating (but not talking about) who has recently moved away. While I talked with him, my land line rang, it was the man I dated last summer (and regretted talking about here). I got off the phone with man #1, and called back man #2. We talked for over an hour, and my call waiting beeped - it was a man I dated for over 10 years - from the late 80s into the late 90s... on and off (like I was married to someone else for a while during that period)... anyway, after I got off the phone with man #2, I called Mr. Ed. Ed and I talked for a while. He said we should get together some time soon before we pass away... he is so funny. But not that funny because he just turned 68 years old this month and has had a stroke. When I got off the phone with Ed, my cell phone rang - it was man #1 again. We talked for a while and got to wish each other "sweet dreams".

Who cares? Well, apparently I do. I am grateful that I am still friends with nearly all my former loves. One of the women I work with calls me a "dangler", she says that none of my relationships are ever really over... they dangle. I think that is because I have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable... the romantic relationship may need to end, but I always hope that we can remain friendly. And if we are both in AA, and most of my b.f.s have been in AA, I really hope we can remain able to be happy to see each other when we run into each other.

Life is too short and the world is too small to hold grudges or have people I want to avoid.

"But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut outselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66


lash505 said...

ha what good does a grudge have if you die. Maybe we are all Hatfields or McCoys. Spelling maybe wrong so correct me if you want. I am on schedule to be in boulder high this thursday and friday. I will confirm the trip on Monday. Dinner on me.

sober Chick said...

Happy last Sturday of the month!

Scott W said...

You must have been putting out some strong phermones!

lushgurl said...

That is very cool that you are still friends with some exes! I never learned how to end relationships with love, I always had to be 'mad at you' ! Today I know it is because it was always easier for me to deal with being angry than being hurt. I'm glad that you shared another healthy part of you today...thank you!