I just read JJ's letter to her Mom. And it started the tears again. The tears started last night at mass. For some reason, it hit me like a ton of bricks that my mother has now been gone (as in dead) for 35 years. 35 years. God Bless Her.
I went to a meeting this morning and the tone was very light - which rubbed me the wrong way. You know, the smart ass guys wishing all you "mothers" (as in half of the hyphenated word) a happy mother's day. ha ha. Then at the end of the meeting a woman shared that her son had killed himself 2 days before Mother's Day a few years ago. And she hates the day. God Bless Her.
I need to call my sponsor today- she had her two older children taken away from her when she was still drinking, and has not seen them once since then. She got to raise one daughter - who is now serving a life sentence for murder. Yeah, mother's day is not her favorite either. God Bless Her too.
Alcoholism is a brutal disease. It decimates the alcoholic and all around him or her. Anyone who says they are grateful to be an alcoholic must be an orphan who never married or had children. I am more grateful than words can say to be sober, but am I grateful that I have this fucking disease and that one or two of my children have it? FUCK NO.
OK, I will stop:
My son called this morning. He also sent a card -which is a big deal for him. I miss him. My "problem" daughter may or may not be coming over today. The disease has her pretty good right now and she may not be able to tear herself away for a few hours. We shall see. God Bless Her. Her twin sister will be coming over. It may just be the two of us, and if it is, we will go see a movie.
Sorry to be so morbid. I have a wonderful life today. It is truly a God-Given Miracle. Sometimes it is just too sad for words to see what this disease does to people.
Total Non-Sequitor: Go see pictures of my new bike and yesterday's bike ride at my photo blog.