Sunday, August 10, 2008

Sunday Morning

I am going out to run this morning for the first time in a week.  I probably shouldn't be running with my back as it is, but I am going to anyway.  I think the good that running does me (especially mentally) far outweighs the negative. 

Yesterday while shopping at Macy's for my son's birthday present, I got a call from my daughter's boyfriend.  I knew it couldn't be good news, and indeed it wasn't.  I don't know if I have shared here that my daughter is drinking again.  She managed to stay clean something like 80 days, and then decided to drink.  It amazes me when people say "well, at least she isn't using meth."  Anyone who says that has never seen my daughter drink.  Her boyfriend was a cop for 10 years and told me yesterday that he never in all that time saw a drunk as bad as my daughter.  The night before she had called at 1:00 a.m. (he had the phone turned off) and screamed into the phone that she had wrecked his truck and had left it on ****  Blvd. in Denver.  She didn't bother to call and follow up with any further information.... like was she hurt, did she hurt anyone else, where she was going, where the truck was, etc.  

He asked me what he should do.  I told him that it would sound strange to him, but I thought the most important thing for him to do is call Alanon.  I told him that he could not continue to ruin his life chasing after my daughter.  That he needed to take care of himself.  That this crap was going to kill him.  (Later I realized that telling him was pretty selfless - my purposes would better be served by him continuing to take care of her, but I digress....)

He later called to tell me that she had called him, had shown up for work and was OK.  That his truck had a scrape on the bumper, and it was no big deal.  And that she wanted to start taking antabuse.  

I have been praying.  Praying, Praying, Praying.  

I spoke with my sponsor yesterday.  Her daughter is serving a life sentence for murdering her boyfriend in a drunken rage.  My sponsor doesn't tip-toe around this stuff.  She lives every single day with the fallout from this horrible disease.  

So I will now go out and run 3 miles.  I will come home and prepare a lovely birthday dinner for my son.  We will have a lovely afternoon.  I have been doing this for too long to let it destroy my life.  I just won't do it.

Have a sober day everyone, OK?


Bill said...

I hope you have a good,cleansing run that doesn't hurt your back.

When I answer the AA line, and I get a call from someone like your daughter's boyfriend, the first thing I ask is whether the other person wants help. If the answer is 'no' I refer the caller to Alanon. If the answer is 'yes' I ask to speak directly to the person with the problem.
In these situations, it would be nice to have a person with a bullhorn telling the on-lookers to "Step away from the alcoholic."

Lou said...

I understand where your heart is today. All we can do is give it up, go for a run, and be present for the other child.
Have a great day, and remember
3 miles=3 guilt free pieces of pie.

Scott W said...

Sundays are good for praying.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, too.

Mark said...

I feel your sadness MC. You are not alone.

AlkySeltzer said...

I've wondered, "what do people blog about every day? Then I find I can relate one trivial incident (in 50,000 words or more!) each day to this place.

But...Mary C, WOW! Your 'incidents' are major, major, life-and-death stories, each one a reminder that God is in charge, I am NOT! Chaos does NOT reign in our world any more.

Thank you for being so open, SO honest, so caring, to share these events with us, who are certainly praying now for you and for your family. Steve E.

PATRICK said...

Why don't you PUBLISH my comments Mary?



Mary Christine said...

I'm so glad you asked Micky. I do not publish them because they never have anything to do with what I have written, they never make sense, and it is, after all, MY blog. Write your stuff on your own blog - and see if anyone reads it.

Blessings to you Micky.

Anonymous said...

Antibuse? oh, Mary I am so sorry. I hope you had a nice time with your son today.

Pam said...

I will never understand antibuse will you?
Bless her poor heart. Maybe she is "dimwitted" like my son.
What the heck do we do with children who can't seem to grasp the concept of sobriety?
Love ya little lima bean.

Syd said...

I'm sorry MC that your daughter has gone back out. I think that the advice you gave was the best though. What else can anyone do? I just hope that she sees you as an example of what being sober means.