Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Yes, as a matter of fact, I DO call that Sobriety!

If you don't pour alcohol down your throat, I call that sobriety.  Lately I have heard lots of qualifications on this.  Gosh, that person is only "dry," not "sober."  Really?  How would you know?  

The logical conclusion to this type of thinking is to pour a drink if you are not spiritually fit 100% of the time.  Really.  Why not, if you are not "sober," only "dry?"

Do I need to be living on a spiritual basis?  yes.  Do I need to be constantly trying to improve my spiritual life? yes.  Do I need to live by the twelve steps and twelve traditions?  yes.    Do I always do this without fail?  No.  No. No.  I just don't.  But that doesn't mean I am not sober.  It means that I get another chance tomorrow to do things right.  Which is a chance I would not get if I took alcohol into this body in any way, shape, or form.

We do not always like the behavior of others.  Particularly when they hurt us.  There is very strong temptation to "constructively" criticize them and talk about the failings in their "programs."  But I like to think that God above knows what is going on, and I really don't.  I just see my side of the story.  

So, having said all of that, I could tell you what "these people" are doing.  What it is that is disgusting to me.  How it has hurt me.  How I need to find a new home group because of it.  You would chime in.  Wow.  You call that recovery?  How can those people call themselves sober?  Well, they do and they can.  Is that what I want, hell no.  

And I have to say that yesterday I got a little bit annoyed by the comment of another.  Instead of letting it slide, I posted about it.  He was hurt by the comments that others made.  I apologized to him.  I can't really make amends - I can't make it right.  I can't undo what I did.  But I can admit that I was wrong and try to make it right.  I was wrong and I am sorry.  

We are all just drunks trying to get and stay sober, one day at a time, with the help of God and each other.  Let's cut each other a little bit of slack, OK?


dAAve said...

okie dokie

Pam said...

1. yes. sober is sober.
2. maybe "recovery" has lots of meanings but sober is sober.
3. I want to hurt anyone who hurts you. that is the way I "roll".
4. I percieved you as hurt yesterday, and so I must hurt back.
5. right? wrong?
6. If I have misread a situation, then I am sorry for undo harm I may have caused another.
7. It is "rarely" my intention to hurt someone on purpose, although I am capable of that.
8. Hey Mr. You know who - I'm sorry if I spoke out of turn.
9. Mary is our little flower and I for one will always jump to defend if I percieve an "issue".
10. I should investigate prior to jumping...

Trailboss said...

I think the comments that were posted yesterday had more to do with us protecting you and your feelings, at least in my opinion. I am glad to see that the comment was not meant to be how it sounded.

Lou said...

Yes, cut the slack all around, for everyone!
I'm sorry too Mark.

One Drunk to Another said...

Heck, MC, I'm sorry I missed all the drama. Darn it, my higher power just keeps me all out of the way! Sheesh! :-)

I agree that we all have ups and downs in our spiritual paths. We have to take others where they are. I sometimes refer to "dry" versus "sober" -- when I went to almost no meetings for three years I was so dry I should not have been near a flame!!! But, I was "physically" sober, at least. Mentally and spiritually I was a mess.

I want others to call me out when I am slipping. I want them to take my inventory a little. It keeps me focused on what I need to do, even if I get mad at them.

Heck, we're all alcoholics on a long, winding journey. None of us is all that well, or we wouldn't be in recovery. I try to remember that and temper my observations with love. I have been known to tell someone that they're going to get drunk if they don't change their ways. Do I know that for sure? Nope. But if it makes them take notice and maybe do something healthy, then I've done my job as a fellow alcoholic. I'm more concerned about their lives than being correct all the time.

I'm rambling. Thanks again for all that you write here. I just love reading it!

Scott W said...

I maintain we can write what we want on our blogs, but it since we have open comment sections we allow others to state their sides, too. We also get to reject any comments we don't like.

Stopping there unless I dig a hole.

I see a difference in being sober and being in recovery. But it is not my place to pass judgement on anyone.

indistinct said...

Your words are important to this alcoholic. Keep up the good work.

AlkySeltzer said...

HAPPY TUESDAY! The storm is over! The blog 'storm' of yesterday...and for us in Naples, Tropical Storm FAY. And like MC wrote, God is in charge, He knows the score, even though He does not KEEP score (thank God!).

My word-for-the-day: PEACE! To you all in blogland, and to all you meet.

Syd said...

Writing on blogs is different than face to face talking. Things are more to the point, more direct. I write in my style. And others write in theirs. It's all okay with me.

Regarding sobriety and recovery--I see those as two different things. And I see character defects in action at every meeting I go to. I learn and understand more and more how imperfect I am and how the same is true of everyone else.

Mary LA said...

Anyone who has made it through 24 hours sober is my hero. Anyone with the desire to stop drinking is my compatriot.

Staying sober isn't a small thing.

How's the neck? Any news yet M-C?



Not God said...

That's why we don;t call it Well Persons Anonymous...

Zane-nawwaa said...

What Daave said.

Bill said...

Alcohol is just a symptom of the disease of alcoholism. Selfishness and self-centeredness is the root of our problem. Does this mean we can drink? No...as alcoholics we have an allergy to alcohol. Getting back o selfishness...if this is the problem, it will rear its ugly head in all sorts of ways. I am very leery of people that can label anyone as "sober" "dry" or anything. I am wondering where in the first 164 pages of the BB we have those distinctions. Bill did talk about emotional sobriety in some of his writings but he was talking as another alcoholic would share in a meeting. If I say anyone is anything I am judging and offering an example of the way I, the big "I" see it...this is dangerous ground for an alcoholic. I am better being concerned at how well I am working the program on a daily basis and if I work it as it is outlined in the book, I will remain sober. I did not mean to jump in as I have never been here before but it is an interesting topic. Thanks

Anonymous said...

MC: (NOTE: You may choose not to post this or edit out some of it, but I thought I'd offer my support)

Indulgence in spiritual pride is a dangerous thing. It never fails to bite me in the backside when I let it build in me; and quick too. Perhaps the editor at large caught a backlash of his own making. Further, for every finger I'm pointing outward there are four pointing back or something like that so perhaps our "editor at large" could inventory that a bit. I get a great deal out of reading your blog because it is you; it is real and it's from the heart, not contrived posing. (personally, I think he needs to man-up a bit and quit his bitching; I really don't like whining).

Separately, I agree with you, sober is sober; emotional sobriety is another thing and something we work on, it changes but my sobriety date doesn't change just because I called someone a jackass; and sometimes people are just that...and sometimes I'm just that...this maybe one of them.

Thanks for keeping it real like ms. Cleo!

-Dave from Maryland