I am not done with my twenty-fifth year yet. I have 5 weeks or so left in it. I hope to stay sober until July 24. If I had to bet, I would be willing to place money on the odds that I will still be sober then. But I am keenly aware that it is one day at a time and I can get drunk just as well as anyone else. But if I keep doing what I have been doing for the last 24.91 years, I will likely get what I have been getting for that time... that is sobriety. Not always the prettiest picture of sobriety, but it is sober - for reals.
When I think back on this year, I think of being tired. I haven't had a vacation for a year now. It has been my triennial super-busy year at work. It has been busy at home too.
Here's the other thing I think of when I think of the past year. My darling daughter asked me in January if she could go to the 6:30 a.m. meeting with me. I was a little bit shocked, but acted like it was the most normal thing in the world. I love to see God work in the life of a person making the most tentative exploration of maybe being sober... I took her to this meeting of mostly well-educated, well-to-do, middle-aged white people. Yuppies, she would call them.
My precious girl is covered in tattoos and has chosen a very tough life for herself. That life is evident when you look at her. She is very very charming (as we tend to be) and it never fails to surprise me the favorable way people react to her. Anyway... on this morning in the middle of January, at this yuppie meeting, there was a lot of talk about prison, parole officers, probation officers, etc. It was a perfect meeting for my daughter. It was a weird meeting, I just sat back and got to admire the evidence of the hand of God - again.
I have hope in my heart for her for the first time in over a decade. She has been sober since that day in January. Just writing that makes me feel short of breath. So, I think I will stop.
Maybe I am too tired as I try to write this tonight. Because, really, when I think of the past year, I think of being really tired. I have a triathlon on Sunday and I needed to be rested before then....
I am grateful to be a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I am grateful for the way my life has changed. I am grateful for so many people I love. Life is good. Incredibly good.
12 comments:
Congrats!!!
I have truly enjoyed your efforts in relating your what happened and what you're like now.
As I've said before, you and your story are a blessing to my life. There are so many similarities in our paths (different times, different faces, even different events - but, essentially the same path in the same program) that I am reassured and strengthened by the experiences you've related.
Blessings on you and your weekend race.
Aloha.
And Mary...I am also grateful....
Have a good time Sunday. Be rested. Be ready.
Mary, thak you for writing about all these years. 25 is a big number, one I find as amazing as 1 day. I have followed all your posts and it has at times been like walking with a guide. As you have gone through the years you seem to say, " Look at this, look what happened, I got through it like this, and it didn't mean I had to drink. It was happy or sad, or difficult or just dry, but I went on and so can you. Things change and I have had to change through it and that will be the same for you. So relax, enjoy the journey, learn from me and pass it on." I will probably never meet you, but you have changed my life in an unseen way and I have been the better for that. Thank you.
Yay! I know it exhausted you, but I truly, TRULY enjoyed reading your post each and every day. It amazes me all that you have been through and all that you have learned from your experiences. I am so happy to hear about your daughter and her sobriety. That makes this year pretty great so far, huh? I will be with you when year 25 of sobriety hits as I'm sure it will by continuing to take it one day at a time.
all i can say is, I feel ya...I mean I really understand, relate, and feel ya.
thanks for that
Thank you for the privilege of allowing us to follow you through the years. Your awareness of feeling 'worn' sounds important and I pray that you provide yourself with what you need to shine your good self and be that radiant spark of God.
...now, back to your regular programming.
I'll be at meetings (5-7 AM your time), then play mass, while you are out there at the triathlon. I'll pray for you, that you have lot of fun, and that it is a satisfying day.
God bless your day.
That's so cool about your daughter.
Congratualtions! Another difficult task completed! Thank you so very much. Your story is filled with so much hope.
I hear you on the tired thing. I am tired too but am busy all the time it seems. I guess that's why I am tired. I have enjoyed the summaries of your years. Very rewarding to read. Thanks.
I too am 25 yrs sober in AA.
I was delighted to God working for your daughter as I hope one day my son will do the same.
Robin F.
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