However, I have just two years (days) left to complete my commitment to document each year of my sobriety.
This gets tricky. As my sobriety has gone on and I have grown, my life has changed. My beliefs have changed. I usually write my blog keeping my readership in mind. I get a lot of readers who don't know much about AA and are wondering if AA is for them. People search for info about AA and I have been writing this blog for so long (every single day) and I write the words "Alcoholics Anonymous" so often that my blog comes up when someone googles AA or Alcoholics Anonymous, or any number of searches about alcoholism and recovery from alcoholism. That, I feel is my mission here, to provide some information about what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now - for an alcoholic - me.
When we get into the later years, if I am honest, I need to write about my spiritual journey, which offends some. That is why I keep these cards kind of close to my chest most of the time.
When I got to AA, I was so happy to be able to choose my own concept of a higher power. As time went on, this concept changed. I was finally led very gently back to the church of my youth. If you had told me that I would have to go back to the Catholic Church when I got sober, I would have told you where to go. But the Hand of God has led me many places I haven't wanted to go - and then I have been eternally grateful that I got to go.
My journey back to Catholicism has been one of the most wonderful aspects of being sober. To do it by the book is something that is so important to me. The "rules" are no longer something for "other" people, they are for me. I don't have it perfect by any means, but I am trying every day.
I have been enrolled in Biblical School for the last two years. I thought I would become somewhat of a biblical scholar after 4 years of study, but I have to say that I have learned that I could study for a lifetime and not "get" a fraction of this incredible book. The journey is something that has meant the world to me.
This is who I am. We do get to express this. All of us.
So, my 24th year? Well, my son came home from Iraq. Words cannot say what that was like. I did blog about it at the time. It was wonderful. I ran 2 half marathons. I went to Alaska to run one of them. I was in a car accident in July. It hurt my back. More. My daughter lost custody of her children and there was a restraining order so that she couldn't even see them. She went into rehab and went quickly back to meth and booze. It was a nightmare.
But I had my Church, I had my AA group, I had you bloggers, and I was OK. No matter what.