Bikin' to work

I am biking to work today. It should be a nice day for a ride, even if a bit hot on the way home - and the way home is 95% uphill.

Yesterday after loudly proclaiming on my blog that I wasn't afraid to go to work - when I got to work, I wanted to run away in fear! There was some dreadful news, news that made my hands shake. News that had me walking my loop around the hospital, trying to calm down. But with God's help, I got through the day, and I believe everyone else did too.

After work, I went to the 5:30 meeting. I sat down at about 5:25 and watched people file in and sit down. I said hello to everyone and called them by name. I truly smiled when I saw them. I truly felt happy to see each and every one of them (well, there is one man I am not usually happy to see, but that is the exception, not the rule today). By 5:30 when the meeting started, I felt calm and peaceful, and so happy to be sitting in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, because it is there that I am at home.

I am so grateful that in AA I have learned to love. I have learned that loving is not about finding the right people who are deserving of your love. It is finding love in your heart for what ever people God has chosen to be in your life, and becoming the right person yourself.

"We must think deeply of all those sick ones still to come to AA. As they try to make their return to faith and to life, we want them to find everything in AA that we have found, and yet more, if that be possible. No care, no vigilance, no effort to preserve AA's constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 229

Monday, Yay for Monday!

I am going to try something new in my routine this morning. I am packing up a gym bag and going to the gym to run on the dreadmill, then I will shower and get dressed there - and go to work. I need to work on some speed and I simply don't do it when I am out in nature, admiring all of God's handiwork. I used to come home after the gym and get ready for work here, but adding 12 to 14 miles to my odometer each day with gas prices as they are seems really foolish.

Yesterday we broke records for heat - it was 97 degrees. I sat here and poured sweat and refused to turn on my central air. I don't know why I installed it if I don't use it. I really don't like using it and I really don't like paying for it. I can hear you Houstonians chuckling. No, I would probably not make it in a hot place. I can deal with ice and snow better than I can heat.

I am looking forward to the day. I am always so grateful on Monday mornings, grateful for a life without fear for the most part; a life that I enjoy. For so much of my life Monday mornings were dreaded little deaths. I remember a scuba diving trip to the Florida Keys many many years ago - as we were heading out on the boat, on a glorious day, on the glorious ocean, I wondered why I couldn't feel that great every day. Why couldn't I feel that happy on a Monday morning? Well, now I do!

Have a happy and sober Monday everyone.

"Service, gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted or solved with God's help, the knowledge that at home or in the world outside we are partners in a common effort, the well-understood fact that in God's sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given surely brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer isolated and alone in self-contructed prisons, the surety that we need no longer be square pegs in round holes but can fit and belong in God's scheme of things -- these are the permanent and legitimate satisfactions of right living for which no amount of pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 124

Sunday Morning

I just got home from the 6:30 meeting and then breakfast with some of the women. It was nice. I was chatting with my friend Lee Ann who has recently celebrated a year of sobriety. She was considering registering for Ride the Rockies next year. I got all excited and told her she could definitely do it, and I am thinking about doing it too! Oh my. This would be a stretch. It is a week long bike ride through the mountains of Colorado. I mean, really, really, the mountains - pedaling your own self up and down the mountainous passes.

I am tired today. I had a huge day yesterday and I am beat. I am going to mow the lawn now and then probably take a nice nap. I have no plans for today which is wonderful. I might take a bike ride later on.

Oh, and Lash asked what a tri-suit is, briefly, it is a suit that you use for a triathlon - swimming, riding a bike, and running. There is no place to change your clothes between the three events, so you just wear one thing. I had a link to Danskin to show you what a tri-suit looks like, but I removed it because it had an e-bates pop up - and I HATE THAT!

"When you get right down to it, everyone who has done any amount of successful Twelfth Step work is bound to be the founder of a new life for other alcoholics." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 67

We do what we do

Pam has some great, really great, chicken humor on her blog today. Daave has a video of a puppeteer dancing with 4 puppets to "YMCA". Lash has some weird photo of a bronze humpty dumpty on a wall. It is a good day in sober blog-land.

I feel rather boring today: I slept too late and didn't get to the 6:30 a.m. meeting this morning. I am heading out in a minute or two for my first open-water swim of the year, followed by a bike ride. This should be good, I begin my triathlon training in earnest. One of my neighbors got married in Las Vegas recently and they are having a reception type party this afternoon. And this evening, I supposedly have a date to go to a movie and dinner with an old beau.

And he is why I slept so late today. He called at 9:00 last night and "needed" to talk. He really did need to talk. So I asked him to come over and we took a long walk. It really was beautiful to walk at ten o'clock to about midnight on a beautiful summer night (the same streets I am so familiar with running at 5 or 6 a.m.) WHY, oh WHY, I want to know, why I nearly always start out as an exciting new girlfriend, and end up as a counselor, wiping tears off of sad devastated faces??? I guess it is my lot in life, but it is nothing I would have chosen for myself.

Okay, I am going to go put on my tri-suit for the first time this year and head on out of here. Have a sober Saturday everyone.

"Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man tht he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 98

Waiting for daylight...

So I can go out for a run. I hope to get in a run and quickly bathe and get dressed and get to the 6:30 a.m. meeting. We shall see if this is possible.

It is nice to wake up and feel good. I got a good night's sleep last night - I went to bed just after posting the picture of my bedroom. There was no party next door last night and, indeed, I think there was no noise at all, at least none that woke me up.

I will get to two meetings today. Not because I "need" them, but because I want to go. I love Alcoholics Anonymous and the people in it and even if I really concentrated on it, in this lifetime I could not begin to repay what has been so freely given to me.

"I spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and need it badly. I do it for four reasons:
1. Sense of duty.
2. It is a pleasure.
3. Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip." -- Alcoholics Anonymous (3rd ed.), p. 181 (Doctor Bob's Nightmare)

Two posts in one day!

I know this isn't much of a photo, but to me it captures a mood. The mood is my bedroom. Even though it is still light outside, I can go to bed because those heavy dark moss green velvet drapes shut out the light - with the exception of the little bit of lace curtains I leave open... for air... and sound. I love to listen to the birds as they get ready for bed. I don't know why they sing so much just before dark, but I absolutely love to listen to that.

I bet if you added all the time I slept last night, it would be less than 2 hours. I am tired. I had a grande iced latte from Starbucks yesterday mid-morning and I guess I can't do that anymore. I also had a phone call from a former boyfriend just as I was going to bed - we talked for over an hour and I had plenty to think about when I got off the phone. My neighbors are also out of town and their 21 year old son had a bit of a party (not call the police worthy, but noisy anyway) last night. I don't understand a 21 year old who has a party at his parents house. When I was 21, I had been 3 years on my own. When my son was 21, he was already a veteran of a foreign war. When my daughters were 21, they had been on their own for quite a while. Where does he find other people who want to "party" at his parents' house?

So I should probably turn on the AC and shut my windows, but I so LOVE the sights and sounds. I guess I will turn it on at the first sniff of a party next door, and in the meantime enjoy it while I can.

"Then comes the acid test; can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?" -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 88

The creek is running high

But, by the Grace of a Loving God, I am not. Bike riding on a beautiful summer day is good enough for me!


"...I try to achieve a state of joyful gratitude. When such a brand of gratitude is repeatedly affirmed and pondered, it can finally displace the natural tendency to congratulate myself on whatever progress I may have been enabled to make in some areas of living." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 37

Ordinary Day

I was going to call this a weekday in ordinary time, which is what I thought it was in the liturgical year. However, I discovered that it is actually St. Anthony of Padua Day.

It just feels like an ordinary day to me. I am going to ride my bike to work today and hope to not find too many portions of the bike trail flooded. It rained a LOT yesterday.

Went to the doc yesterday, my pain problem is what I thought it was. My blood pressure is relatively low as I thought it was (100/70). I will find out in the next couple of days about my blood sugar, the doc and I both suspect that it is also low. While there, I went down the hall to see if I could get a mammogram without an appointment (thanks las for reminding me how very important this is), and they were able to get me in - after a quick 15 minutes or so wait.

Maybe the bike ride will energize me.

"The unity, the effectiveness, and even the survival of AA will always depend upon our continued willingness to give up some of our personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare. Just as sacrifice means survival for the individual alcoholic, so does sacrifice mean unity and survival for the group and for AA's entire Fellowship." -- AA Comes of Age, pp. 287-288

Rainy Tuesday

It is a beautiful morning out there. My flowers are being watered by their heavenly caretaker. I was going to run this morning, but I have decided not to, and it is a good thing because it is almost 7 o'clock, and here I sit in my jammies, not kicking it in gear very quickly this morning.

Last night there were 49 people at the 5:30 meeting. I think about 20 of them raised their hands for being in their first 30 days. That meeting is very humbling. I find the opportunities and responsibilities from having that many new and hurting people in one room to be awesome... not as in 'awesome dude,' but as in awe-inspiring.

Here is a phenomena I have noticed over the years, but have noticed more recently. Those who have had periods of sobriety, gotten drunk, and then have come back seem to go off on these lectures about how tenuous sobriety is - with stern warnings about what can happen. Most of us have already heeded that warning years ago, and that is why we are sitting at a meeting - in no crisis, just sitting there on a perfectly nice sober day. I will sometimes ask someone returning "what happened?" and find the answers may vary in small details, but it is always the same. Sobriety Losing Its Priority (SLIP). They found a new boy/girl/friend. They got a new job, they went back to school... all these are great, but then they stopped going to meetings, they stopped calling their sponsors, they stopped praying. Anyway, I think it is much more helpful to hear how people DO stay sober than hearing how they DIDN'T stay sober.

One guy came back and told this little story: The morning meeting was on his way to work. When he first stopped going to meetings he would look at the cars in the parking lot as he drove by, noting who was there, and think about what he was missing inside. After a while, he didn't care whose car was there, he didn't miss what was going on inside. After a little while longer, he would drive by, and angrily think "f*** you people!" I think only an alcoholic would understand this kind of twisted thinking - but I sure do.

I better get ready for work. Have a great and sober day everyone.

"Our chief responsibility to the newcomer is an adequate presentation of the program. If he does nothing or argues, we do nothing but maintain our own sobriety. If he starts to move ahead, even a little, with an open mind, we then break our necks to help in every way we can." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 105

Back to Work

I took a hike and a trail run yesterday morning. It really was wonderful. There were wildflowers everywhere and the yucca are in bloom. It was good to do something that deviates from my normal routine - though this may very well now become my normal Sunday routine.

I really do love Monday Mornings. I look forward to getting back in my office and seeing what is going on. I recall times in my life when I dreaded Monday morning all weekend - enough to ruin my weekend. I am glad my life is not like that today.

I had a quiet weekend. I slept a lot. I still don't feel particularly well. I went to a few meeetings, rode my bike a little, hiked a little, ran a little, visited a little with someone dear to me, and worked in my yard a little. It was very quiet and peaceful and I am grateful for times like these.

"I also come to AA for the shock of self-recognition. When I hear your stories, I see myself. When I can see myself, I know that I need to be healed, restored, built up and lifted up. I come for the antidote to my own peculiar brand of arrogance, egotism, and pride. This antidote isn't a vaccine but a medicine I require in order to survive these poisons that live inside me. Meetings are where I get this medicine. And you enourage me. I am made brave - that's what 'encourage' means, after all - so that I can risk little experiments at being better." -- Emotional Sobriety The Next Frontier, p. 106

Sunday Morning

And time for one of my long winded posts. In a minute, as soon as the motrin kicks in, I am going to head out of here to hike up Green Mountain and once I get to the flat part on top, I am going to run. It should be great fun.

Let me preface this next topic by saying that this is NOT political. Really. I am talking about MY reaction to something. Yesterday, I was dinking around with my site meter, and looked at a search that someone found me by, and found a whole host of articles, blog entries, and youtube videos about the President drinking again. There was a spate of articles yesterday apparently because he drank a non-alcoholic beer at the G8 summit - there were photos. That gave me a bit of a chill.... but then there were videos of a President Bush slurring his words and sounding extremely inebriated. Those brought back some of the worst feelings I have had in my life. I sat here in disbelief and in fact, I am hoping against hope that the videos were slowed down so that it would appear that his speech was slurred and drunken sounding. (I would also imagine that if all of my waking moments were filmed, I might appear to be insanely drunk at times, or at least just insane - and I can assure you I have not touched a drop of alcohol since July 24, 1984.)

Growing up in an alcoholic home is extremely traumatic - I know I don't have to tell anyone that. My father was a terrible, terrible alcoholic. My mother was also an alcoholic, but a binge drinker, so I wasn't subject to much trauma around her drinking. My father, on the other hand, was a daily drinker, and didn't go to bars. He stayed at home and got drunk every single day of my life until one day in April of 1965 when 2 men came to our home to talk to him. Those two men were members of Alcoholics Anonymous. My father got sober that day and stayed that way for 10 years. Our family life was completely transformed. My father was a wonderful, kind, intelligent, funny, soft-spoken man I loved and admired greatly - when he was sober.

Then came July 17, 1975 - I called my Dad in the middle of the afternoon for some reason and he answered the phone DRUNK! After 10 years of sobriety! He never did talk much about how this happened, but he did tell me after I got sober "resentment really IS the number one offender." His visits to my home became nightmarish events.... recalling so many horrible moments from my childhood. Going out for dinner with him was like russian roullette, you never knew what you were going to end up with. Even after I started drinking, I still found his drinking so upsetting. At least I didn't fall down in the street, pass out in my soup, hit my head on the toilet, etc., etc., etc.....

Since I have been in AA, I think my father has been my greatest teacher. He never did sober up again, and he lived for another 17 horrible painful degrading years. I do not ever want to do what he did. I do not ever want to put my children and grandchildren through that. I do not want to put myself through it either!

So, seeing this President - like him or not, he is the leader of the free world - appearing to be drunk was a nightmare right out of the primordial ooze of my psyche.

And also a reminder of the fact that we are all only sober today. Long term sobriety is good, I like it a lot, but we all know people who have started drinking after long periods of sobriety - it CAN and DOES happen. I have a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. The big book warns that if we fail to enlarge our spiritual life, we will drink again, and with us, to drink is to die.

Let's all stay sober today, Okay?

"The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, 'Don't see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain't it grant the wind stopped blowin?" -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 82

Riding my Bike to the Meeting

Once again, I will get to ride my bike to the meeting this fine Saturday morning. It is a wonderful thing that I get to do this.

I took yesterday and just stayed in bed for a large portion of it. I made several doctor's appointments because I think there are some things I need to address. One appointment is next week and two more are in the first week of July. Hopefully I will get back on track.

I dragged myself out of bed and got to the 5:30 meeting last night. Afterwards a bunch of us went to Chili's for dinner. It was so reassuring to sit with a bunch of sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous and laugh and talk and eat. There really are not many things better than that! One of the women is someone I sponsored years ago, she is back again, I hope she can find a way to stick around this time.

Have a sober day everyone.

Today is JJ's 3rd Birthday, go over and wish her well!!!

"I believe that God found me, more than I found Him. It was similar to watching a child walk; he falls down again and again, but it is better not to try to help him until he comes to realize that he cannot do it alone - and extends his hand. I had gotten myself into a position where I had no other place to turn; I was at a point of almost complete despair. Then, and only then, did I honestly and simply ask God to help me. He came to me instantly, and I could feel His presence, even as I do this moment." Came to Believe, p. 24

I feel crappy.

I came home from the 6:30 a.m. meeting and called work - told them I have no appointments or meetings today, and I am going to take the day to go back to bed and try to get feeling better. I haven't felt well all week (or maybe longer.)

This morning our speaker was a fellow who sobered up over 30 years ago in Chicago... at the VA hospital, with cirrhosis. They did not expect him to live, he came to AA originally to warn us all about what alcohol can do! (Talk about singing to the choir!) Somehow, he stuck around to listen, and got sober, and stayed sober, and now has a beautiful life. He is one of those extremely intelligent drunks, had been a college professor who ended up on skid row.

So, can someone tell me WHY I care about Paris Hilton getting out of jail yesterday? I don't know or even care if she is an alcoholic. As far as I am concerned, I see no reason why anyone cares at all about her, why on earth is she a story? She is rich. That is it. I don't think she is particularly pretty, I know she isn't talented, she has NO charm, she is certainly not a philanthropist or even an intellectual. And furthermore, I don't even think she got off lightly... I think her 3 days in jail (counted as 5) was probably actually a heavy-duty sentence for what she was charged with.

Maybe it is because I don't feel well that I am so grumpy about this. But at this very moment, there are people starving, there are children being beaten to death by the people who should be caring for them, there are young, intelligent, worthwhile men and women dying from alcoholism without knowing there is a solution, there are brave men and women in uniform losing their lives on foreign soil, there are so many tragedies and injustices every single day in the world... and we are all worried about some snotty little rich girl getting cupcakes delivered to her mansion? I wish she could just stay in jail for a while, if only so I wouldn't have to hear about her.

hmmmm. grumpy? me?

I am going back to bed.

"Day by day, we try to move a little toward God's perfection. So we need not be consumed by maudlin guilt for failure to achieve His likeness and image by Thursday next. Progress is our aim, and His perfection is the beacon, light-years away, that draws us on." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 15

Fleurs

Last night after work I went out to my garden and picked some peonies... and then picked a few iris, just to mix it up a little. Oh, the peonies smell so good. I am grateful for these and many other blessings this morning - like you bloggers.

"Still more wonderful is the feeling that we do not have to be especially distinguished among our fellows in order to be useful and profoundly happy. " -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 124

Early June

Some Flowers. It is a glorious morning out there. I kind of wish I was riding my bike to work again today. But I would have to wear the same clothes I wore yesterday (they are still hanging in my office) and I just heard that we are expecting a windstorm with gusts as high as 90 mph this afternoon. Not a good day to ride a bike I suppose.

What has happened to our blogging community? I am dismayed to find that I have a larger readership on my fitness blog than I do here. I just started that blog, and I am hardly a jock like most of that community. I have noticed that where we all used to get 10 or 15 or even 20 comments on a post, now there are 4, or 6, or 8 comments. I guess people move on and change, and some of us even get drunk. I miss the "good old days" when we all moved around like a herd from blog to blog, we mostly all posted daily, we all left comments, etc.

I have not much to say today... just grateful to be sober. Grateful for beautiful early June sights and sounds. Grateful for a loving God who has done for me what I could never have done for myself.

"We discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 116

My own personal Bike to Work Day

I have committed to ride my bike to work at least once a week for the summer. Gas prices of $3.25 a gallon greatly help me in this resolve. I truly enjoy riding my bike, and there is nothing better than an early morning bike ride, unless you combine that with a quick swim in a nearby lake - which I will do later this summer. I have decided to take 2 weeks to a month off of running, my body needs some serious healing.

Last night at the meeting, there were 48 people and at least 24 of them were in their first 90 days of sobriety. It was interesting because the topic was about whether or not to go to places where there will be drinking. My personal view is that I avoid those places, I don't enjoy them anyway, and I don't like to play with fire. Although I have been sober 22 years, 10 months and 13 days, I can get drunk today just like anyone else. I have seen so many people fool themselves with this stuff. I don't think most folks agree with my perspective on this, but I am fine with that.

Being sober is the most important thing in my life. Why would I play around with that? Or as my friend Larry says, I don't keep snakes in my silverware drawer. I really love that!

"Prudence is rational concern without worry." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 91

Monday Morning

Yesterday after I got home from church, I stayed home all day! I only talked to 3 people on the phone. I didn't talk to my neighbors, I didn't go to a 5:30 meeting. I didn't do anything I usually do. I wanted to take a day to be really quiet, and I was. Last night I actually slept for nine hours, and today I feel ready to get back in there!

At the Thursday night meeting last week, a friend who has been sober for 30 years brought me a tape of some old guys I love. They are all now deceased. Annette and I did not know each other in the "old days", but we knew many of the same people. So, I have listened to this tape over and over and over again. It is just marvelous to listen to these old guys, sober so long, so wise, talking about going off to World War II, talking about their grandfather's mule, etc. It was a different time. I didn't realize until I listened to this tape how much things have changed since the sober folks of this generation have mostly gone. This tape was made in 1990, which seems like yesterday, but it is actully 17 years ago!

One of the most wonderful moments in the tape is at the end. They all say the Lord's Prayer together, and when they are done, they say "Keep coming back, it works." That's it. Keep coming back, it works. Not "IF you work it," not "it sucks if you don't," not "so work it cuz your worth it." Not any of that self-will stuff. Just "it works."

If our sobriety was really dependent on our "work" I think we would all be drunk. How much ability to "work" this thing do we have when we get to AA all shakey and scared - and yet still full of ourselves? Not much. But thanks to a loving God, we stick around and start doing what they tell us to do, and miracle of miracles, we stay sober for a day, a week, a month. Months turn to years, and years turn to decades. Decades turn into a sober and worthwhile lifetime. I could not "work" for this, I can cooperate with God's plan, but I cannot create it! Thanks to a loving God, I get to live sober today and that is indeed miraculous!

"The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!" -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 153

Sunday Morning

I hope you all don't mind if I write this in my curlers and underwear. I am waiting for the clothes I wore yesterday to get out of the dryer so I can put them on and go to church. I have other clothes, but I particularly liked the outfit I wore yesterday and would like to wear it again today. We are having an outdoor Mass this morning, so I won't be wearing a skirt or dress as I usually do... since I will be sitting on a blanket.

Yesterday was a day of great joy. I rode my bike to the meeting - which was so wonderful. To be on a bike, on the streets, before 6 a.m., riding to an AA meeting, well, it was just wonderful. At the meeting was a woman who has just gotten out of a 30 day treatment program. About a year ago, she had 8 or 9 years of sobriety, but she had "moved on" in her life and recovery and didn't come to our stinky meetings and hang out with a bunch of derelict alkies... so she became one again herself.

I spent the afternoon with someone really special and we got stuff ready for night watch. Went to the 5:30 meeting last night. It was my friend B.'s first time to speak. It was amazing to watch him and listen to him. He has never told his story before, and I could see the light come on for him - "WOW, I AM a REAL ALCOHOLIC!" I think it is a great idea for people in their first year to speak, it is an eye-opening experience. I am so glad I got to be there for that!

Night watch was so much fun. I laughed until I had a headache. And I ate enough for an army! We got tons of phone calls, but I think they were all just people looking for meetings. We usually get one or two calls in need of a 12 step, I am not sure, but I don't think we did last night.

It is a beautiful summer morning. It seems like the darkness of the last couple of weeks has lifted... at least for this moment... and I will gladly accept that and thank God for it.

"Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58

Another Saturday Morning

I am going to ride my bike to the 6:30 a.m. meeting this morning. After the meeting, I am going to meet with a woman who has recently asked me to sponsor her. I am looking forward to getting to know her better, although I have been acquainted with her for 12 or so years.

Tonight is night watch. I will probably make a pie to bring. I don't know what kind though. I will see what kind of fruit looks good at the grocery store later on today. Night watch is probably the high-point of my social life each month. It really is a great thing, not only socially, but for AA. (our group has a 6 hour shift each month where we take the after hours calls for the local central office - and since it is on the first Saturday evening of each month, we have a pot luck dinner at a different member's house each month while we take phone calls - it is great fun.)

Have a great weekend everyone. - oh and Lounge Daddy tagged me to do something, I will do it later on today or tomorrow....

"During our drinking days, we imagined not-drinking as a grim, grey, joyless affair. Where would the fun be? The excitement? But we found out that drinking was the grey world; sobriety is in full color. Sobriety offers an abundance of laughter, friendship, the excitement of spiritual and emotional discoveries, and moments of just plain joy. As we grow up and grow out of self-pity and despair, we think no picture of emotional sobriety would be complete if iti didn't include the joy." -- Emotional Sobriety, the Next Frontier, p. 101

Friday Morning...

And I am heading out of here for the Friday Morning Speaker Meeting at 6:30 a.m. I like the format of the meeting, there is a speaker for 1/2 hour, and then they open it up. Some speakers go longer, some shorter, but it is good.

I talked to my sponsor yesterday and she strongly urged me to take a few days off work and come to the western slope to visit her next week. I will see if I can do that. She is worried about me for some reason (?)

I bought a new red sweater to go with my red shoes and I am going to wear them both today. Some old veteran gentlemen at my 5:30 meeting told me that you can wear red on Friday as a sign of support for our men and women serving in strange lands overseas in wars. I know one I would like to support with hands on - I would so dearly love to touch my son and see him smile and laugh. soon. soon. soon.

Last night was the first night of the new newcomers meeting at 5:30 on Thursdays. People with under one year of sobriety are encouraged to share in the first half hour and then in the second half hour, those with over 1 year. I loved that first half hour. It really restored my hope in Alcoholics Anonymous. For 30 minutes, I heard real sharing without slogans, cliches, prepared speeches, pointing fingers, or pounding fists. It was glorious!

"...we have finally surrendered. And then, paradoxically, we have found ourselves in a new dimension, the real world of spirit and faith. Enough willingness, enough open-mindedness - and there it is!" -- As Bill Sees It, p. 174