I am grateful I am not working today. That I just ran 4 miles in less than 41 minutes. That it is raining. That I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. That I have been a member for a while. That I can cry through an AA meeting.... and that no one there has ever seen me do that before.
I have not heard from my son for the last week. I woke up this morning feeling a little panicky about that. So I went to an AA meeting. Where, once again, the topic was snickering about the chicanery of organized religion. I am so fucking sick of this. A few people threw in their disdain for the government of the United States of America.
I reminded the group of the 10th tradition. Then I sat and cried. I am feeling so fragile today and I just felt so disappointed. But after the meeting, I got to talk with some of my friends, and I am grateful for them. My friend Mike, who just celebrated 7 years on Saturday, hugged me - and I noticed the pack of Kools in his pocket! On man, I really could have just grabbed one and stuck it in my mouth! That was My BRAND!
If I am sharing about my own experience, strength, and hope there is nothing to argue about. If I start throwing in my opinions, we have just opened up the grand debating society. I realize that some people have had bad experiences with their church (most of them seem to belong to my denomination), and I would never discourage them from talking about their own experience. But when it crosses the line into condemning religions, governments, world leaders - it just doesn't belong in an AA meeting.
On a MUCH lighter note - I got my template changed yesterday and I really like it. I think it looks like a Generic Alcoholic Page. Just black on white. Plain as can be. Thanks for the help that was so kindly offered.
"Being wrecked in the same vessel, being restored and united under one God, with hearts and minds attuned to the welfare of others, the things which matter so much to some people no longer signify much to them. How could they?" -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 161
14 comments:
If I could put a 'Fragile, handle with care' sticker on you today, I would! But I can't, so I'll just say, 'Chin up, chicken!'
And remember, nobody at that meeting who made you feel worse today gets any nice apple pie next time you make one.
Take care.
(((((MC)))))
I see you,
JJ
The blog page looks good. It's a keeper.
I couldn't agree more with what you say about the 10th Tradition. Some just don't get it.
MC, there is definitely a reason I finally managed to come by yer bloggage today.
First reason: Big Hugs from a grateful recovering, slimming down, freedom enjoying American, soon to be Cathloic, but most improtantly alcoholic.
Second reason: to tell you just how grateful I am to your son, and you all for the sacrifices you all make for this country.
Third reason: I have noticed a profound difference in how I feel, and in the message I get during Mass, now that I have sat through a couple RCIA classes, and have been reading my literature. I was nearly in tears Sunday... I am not sure why, but something profound is happening to me... and I am grateful that I have transformed from one of those synicaly people who lump everyone into the negative stereotypes about organized religion.
Fourth reason: Cuz u needed a hug,a nd to tell ya I am glad you didn't smoke that nasty old Kool! Good girl! Oh, and to let you know that it would take me 41 hrs to run 4 miles, oh man!
Anyhow, hang in there MC, know that someone in Ohio is thinking bout ya, and praying for you and your son!
peace to you!
OH MC... I am glad too that you didnt smoke... I have recently been upset that I thought about hmm smoking- ah yes that will make everything magically better,.. ahahahah NOT
I feel ya on going to a meeting, and not really get what you need... uh hmmm.. I have and am here now... I am going to a meeting tonight too because I feel restless,irritable, discontented and dont like it one bit. I know it wont solve all my problems but I am going to get out of me.. me me me me I am sick of me... LOL
thanks for letting me rant.
I hope the rest of your day was good... love ya and sending a BIG HUG
Thanks. I just got home from the most powerful 5:30 meeting. I cried through this meeting too, but for the good reason of being overwhelmed with gratitude for not only my sobriety, but my fellow AA members' sobriety and what that means to our families and the world at large.
I'm glad things were better for you at the 5:30 meeting, MC.
Glad your second meeting was better for you.
I remember hearing about deciphering thru opinions when someone is sharing. This man spoke about it, and how upset but passionate he was . . . adament to tell the newcomer (which was me at the time) about this blue book. He held up his big book.
You are so passionate about AA and the message it hurts when it becomes an opinion. But it is because of people like you that continue to send the message born form the big book a newcomer will hold on.
I like the new look, but the most important thing I like about your blog is what you write.
MC Nice post I am with ya..
At several groups around here, they never even READ the Traditions at the meetings. The just read the Steps and the Promises. So of course, none of the newcomers know about the Traditions, and that leads to all sorts of confusion. Some of the newcomers get angry when they see offering baskets being passed. Go figure.
Glad you didn't smoke -- and that's some good running! 4 miles in <41 minutes! Woohoo!
I am glad that your second meeting was better too.
Oh, (((((MC)))))!! Everyone's already said everything, so I'm just hugging you. Hang in there, girlfriend! Your son is in my prayers.
I knew you'd get it--and know where it I got it from--
Anyway, there are so many awful meetings but I still try to give and get what God has me there to hear. Sometimes I have to listen around all the excuse me, shit.
Yesterday morning we had to wait for the chairperson to finish her snack before she started the meeting--late and the she got up 1 minute before the meeting was to end to use the restroom.
Sometimes its so hard to get why I'm there.
Thanks for being here and thanks for praying. When I have some time I 'll go searching to see if you have a pic of the new running suit. Good for you for being good to yourself!
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