Thank you all for your nice comments yesterday. I think what we saw was my disease rearing its ugly head. On Monday night, I was sitting in a meeting thinking what nice people "they" were. I wasn't going to share because I figured I had nothing of value to say. I realized what was going on there, and I did share and told the group about my crazy thoughts.
If I start thinking the people at an AA meeting are "them" then I must be "me" and "me" is alone. If I think what I have to say has no value to anyone then I am also full of ego in thinking that I am so special that no one could possibly relate to me. That I am so unique, worthless, fabulous, whatever - that my experience, strength, and hope won't help anyone else. What a crock!
Yesterday morning, again, I sat down to write and thought - who the hell cares about what the hell I ate for breakfast, or my morning run, or my concerns over my kids, my worrying about my grandkids, or how insane I am going over worrying about my son in a war on the other side of the planet.
Most of you were kind enough to remind me that you visit someone's blog because you WANT to read about what is going on in THEIR life! I know that I love to visit my blogger buddies' blogs and see what is going on. And I don't care if they are writing about what they ate for breakfast. I think it is fascinating to read about people all over the world and follow their daily ins and outs.
I talked with my sponsor for a long time yesterday. I hope to be going to the western slope and will stay with her for a weekend later this month. I think I just better make that a priority and do it come hell or high water (or snow).
Thanks again everyone. I am so grateful for this community.
"Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong. Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving attention and companionship but never getting it - at least to our way of thinking...... When we reached AA, and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was tremendously exciting." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 57