Thank you all for your nice comments yesterday. I think what we saw was my disease rearing its ugly head. On Monday night, I was sitting in a meeting thinking what nice people "they" were. I wasn't going to share because I figured I had nothing of value to say. I realized what was going on there, and I did share and told the group about my crazy thoughts.
If I start thinking the people at an AA meeting are "them" then I must be "me" and "me" is alone. If I think what I have to say has no value to anyone then I am also full of ego in thinking that I am so special that no one could possibly relate to me. That I am so unique, worthless, fabulous, whatever - that my experience, strength, and hope won't help anyone else. What a crock!
Yesterday morning, again, I sat down to write and thought - who the hell cares about what the hell I ate for breakfast, or my morning run, or my concerns over my kids, my worrying about my grandkids, or how insane I am going over worrying about my son in a war on the other side of the planet.
Most of you were kind enough to remind me that you visit someone's blog because you WANT to read about what is going on in THEIR life! I know that I love to visit my blogger buddies' blogs and see what is going on. And I don't care if they are writing about what they ate for breakfast. I think it is fascinating to read about people all over the world and follow their daily ins and outs.
I talked with my sponsor for a long time yesterday. I hope to be going to the western slope and will stay with her for a weekend later this month. I think I just better make that a priority and do it come hell or high water (or snow).
Thanks again everyone. I am so grateful for this community.
"Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong. Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving attention and companionship but never getting it - at least to our way of thinking...... When we reached AA, and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was tremendously exciting." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 57
8 comments:
Told ya.
You always find the appropriate quote/paragraph(s) from The Big Book or 12/12 to complement your writing. How do you do it? How do you do it?
Wow! That quote blows me away. I've just started reading the 12&12, and had not gotten to that part yet. I'd already been getting a sense of this, but this just states it soooo clearly!
Mary Christine, this is selfish for me to say, but I NEED you to keep blogging. Your life, in all its sanity and groundedness -- its NORMALCY -- is what I want. You are a recovering alchollic with YEARS of sobriety, with a real, grown-up life. You are proof to me that this can be done. You are who I want to be. You have what I want. You're the pulled-together, successful woman I see at a meeting and think, "I want to be like her." You make me want to keep working toward long-term sobriety.
Now, how's that for self-centeredness?! ;) :D
Ya know it's funny MC..I think I have actually asked you what you eat for breakfast..lol !
I visit you daily for you being you.
I need inpsiration from bloggers like you who believe in hope after alcoholism has plagued so many lives.And I love that you are healthy and appreciate a good sunrise..and a cozy front porch:)
Thanks for sharing~
ps.
I buy locally grown fresh produce like brussle sprouts,
spinach,carrots with the dirt still on them!also,fresh apples..nothing compares to a freshly grown bc gala apple..mmme.mm or the golden ones!
hehehe...I love fresh produce and so do my kids...wierd huh?
I care
and you inspire me
thank you
No! Thank you for blogging.
I see you,
JJ
Daave, I have been reading these books for a long time. I usually can think of something and then find it in a minute or two... sometimes I find something else that is way better.
I spent years thinking that AA was an intellectual exercise and I learned those books backwards and forwards. It has taken me many more years to try to "unlearn" that intellectual stuff and see and feel the spiritual stuff.
So now that you have been brought to your right size again I am so glad that you caught it soon enough and I wish you well.....D
Hi MC,
Glad to see you are still blogging......
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