As I looked at a couple of blogs this morning and tried to post comments, I found myself staring at my keyboard without a thought in the world about what to write. I noticed for the first time in my life that if you are staring blankly at a keyboard, the letters in the middle mix themselves up and it looks like the word "TRY".
Tonight I am in a race. A race on trails at night. With spooky things thrown in for fun. For me, I am spooked enough when I run in this park in the daylight... there are always animals about. I tend to have run-ins with animals more than the average person. My friend is running the race with me, and we will both have head lamps on. That should help the fear factor. I am looking forward to the race.
This morning as I read Syd's post about injuries and pain, I was struck by something. He has lots of pain. I can see that. The tone of the comments were "take care of yourself," "honor your body," etc. I just want to say Thank God that Syd is sailing and rowing and doing stuff. I think the pain of a sedentary life is so much worse than the pain that comes as a result of fully living, fully participating in life. An x-ray of my neck looks like a frankenstein monster, complete with bone grafts and titanium rods, I have had a doctor tell me he can't believe I am even able to walk, let alone run. People don't understand why I continue to run... sometimes I really can barely walk...and sometimes it hurts like hell. But! I am not taking antidepressants, I am not living on pain killers. I am not wearing magnets and TENS devices. I am living with the body God gave me, to the best of my ability.
Sometimes things that hurt really help me. Working the steps sure wasn't a picnic. It didn't feel good all the time. Being a member of Alcoholics Anonymous isn't always fun, it doesn't always feel good. Doing the right thing often feels much worse than doing the expedient thing. But feeling good isn't really the point, is it?
I am so grateful that I get to walk through pain and hurt and difficulty to be a fully alive and sober human being.