Thursday, October 02, 2008

Running in the Dark

This is a picture of me wearing my new head lamp.  This morning I woke up and opposite of the way I normally operate, I was rushing to get out and run before it got light!  Usually I am waiting for daylight, and waiting, and waiting.  

Yesterday I wrote something I probably shouldn't have about someone I shouldn't be talking to or about.  Sponsorship is a funny thing.  It is one of the things about AA that critics find the most objectionable.  It can appear to be a vulnerable person turning their will and life over to the care of another alcoholic.  That would be a misuse of sponsorship.

I find that it is good to have a sponsor.  It is good to have someone to talk to who knows me well, and has known me for a long time.  My sponsor is not afraid to tell me when she thinks I am off base.  She is very honest with me.  I run ideas by her, because sometimes my judgment is not the best.  Alcoholics are good at going off on tangents being convinced that we are right and justified.  Sometimes we get in serious trouble doing this.  Being honest with  a sponsor can prevent this from happening.  

And about time in sobriety:  When I was sober for 4 years, a woman with 17 years of sobriety asked me to sponsor her.  I was so flattered.  I was honored!  I was thrilled to be her sponsor!  And my ego was inflated like you couldn't believe.  After a short while, I realized that this was not a good deal.  She was appearing to be very humble by asking a short timer to sponsor her, but what she was doing was being very manipulative.  I would suggest things to her as her sponsor and she didn't pay much attention to it - she, after all, had so much more experience than I did.  It was one of the creepier experiences I have had.  

OK, I need to get ready for work and get out of here.  Have a nice day everyone.  

9 comments:

Syd said...

Ego is a problem with lots of people. If I can drop the ego that tells me that I know more, then I become willing and surrender to listen to another. It takes a while to get to that point.

I like the head light idea.

Kathy Lynne said...

I'm trying to be careful of this sponsership thing. I have a great sponser and when I grow up I want to be just like her. As I sponser for the first time, I realize that though this young woman is younger than me she has a lot more experience with the program than I do having been in and out for years. So yes, being manipulated is something I must watch out for as well as my desire to mother her.

J-Online said...

I'm glad that you are honest. I think it is so very important.

Lou said...

Very nice beacon of light there.

AlkySeltzer said...

My sponsor is sober a year less than me, but he's smarter. He keeps telling me so!

Trailboss said...

Do you look like the miners in Eastern Kentucky when you wear that hat item?

Scott W said...

I am getting to realize I must take every person I come into contact with, with a grain of salt.

Pam said...

Oh that is so funny because it happened to me as well...sponsoring someone with more time. She fired me and I was so glad.

Zanejabbers said...

It sure is dark in that thar mine shaft. Have a gfreat bright day.