Step Six

"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."

The Sixth Step is contained in one paragraph in the big book:

"...we then look at Step Six.  We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.  Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?  Can He now take them all -- every one?  If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing."  (p. 76)

After I had shared my first Fifth Step, my sponsor told me to go home and do exactly what it said at the bottom of page 75, and that was to review the first five steps and see if I had skipped anything.  I asked myself if I had done these things to the best of my ability.  I then turned the page to Step Six.  

The Sixth Step doesn't seem like much.  There is no specific action involved.  But it is important enough for the Twelve and Twelve to say that this step separates the men from the boys.  (And being a grown-up, I know that also means that it separates the women from the girls.)  

I have fortunately not been one who willingly clung to a character defect.  That is not to say that I don't have plenty.  But I was willing for God to take them away.  It is amazing what happens when you just get willing and let God work.  I could not remove my character defects and I don't believe I can "work" on them.  But I can be ready and willing for what God is able to do.  I can also cooperate.  I can't just go around doing the same old stuff and expect God to take care of it. I do have to cooperate.

I can't say the Lord's Prayer and ask God to "lead me not into temptation" and then place myself into temptation.  I need to make the changes necessary to stop doing whatever it is that is harmful.  

The most concrete example I can think of is my cigarette smoking.  I was sober 7 years.  I smoked like a fiend and vaguely considered this a character defect.  I did want to quit smoking in an abstract way, I just didn't want to actually stop smoking.  I prayed.  I prayed.  And then I prayed some more.  I joined a group to stop smoking.  Thank God that back in those days, there were no medications to take.  It was just a few days of misery and then you were done!   But first, on our assigned quit day, I had to take my cigarettes, crumble them up and throw them in the trash. I had to stop sticking cigarettes in my mouth and lighting them up.  God took care of the rest.  It was a few days of not fun, and then now 18 years of being a non-smoker.  I do not believe I could have done that without the help of God.  But God couldn't have done it if I had continued to stick cigarettes in my mouth and light them up.  

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I am now half-way done with this endeavor to write about my experience with the steps.  I have complained to some of you about how much I have not enjoyed this.  I would so much rather write more light-hearted things.  I have been attacked non-stop since I started this.  There are little puny people out there who are obsessed with satan (not God) and these steps are a terrible threat to a satan-driven life.  

Being a loving person, it hurts me terribly to see someone who is so sick.  But I have to realize that there is nothing I can do for them. I wish I could wrap my arms around them and comfort them, and get them to start believing in God instead of the devil, but I can't.