I was feeling so bad about some of the conversations we had. Wondering why I couldn't have been kinder. Wondering why I am sometimes so very harsh. Regretting.
I finally got my land line phone disconnected. Yesterday was the last day of that service. So yesterday morning I decided to listen to my saved voice mails. I have things saved for years, like my granddaughter's first day at pre-school. And the younger one being coached to say "hi nana" by her mom, when she was just a baby. I couldn't find a way to save them.
But mixed in with these messages, totally forgotten by me, was a message from Russ that he left in May of this year. Imagine my shock to hear his voice, which I always loved, saying, among other things, that I had been such a good friend to him, and he thanked me for my friendship. He said he loved so many things about me, etc. I felt yesterday, and I still do today, that he touched me yesterday and told me that it was OK.
This morning I will go out and run. Then I will get ready for work and go put in a good day's work for a good day's pay.