Monday, November 01, 2010

Demon Alcohol

I cleaned house (literally) all weekend. By last night as I readied my tiny house for my visitors, I came back into the living area and I found it so glittering, it just made me happy. I had made caramel corn for my granddaughters, lit candles, set lights outdoors, and dug out my few Halloween decorations. It was nice.

Lately I have heard people express caution about alcohol - of all things! (Synchronicity! As I am writing this, I hear in the other room on CNN that a new study has deemed alcohol as the "worst drug.")

The big book says that an alcoholic who cannot face alcohol still has an alcoholic mind. That's great.

My experience is that 99.9% of the time I do not have an alcoholic mind. I think one could make the point that last week I had an alcoholic mind. I think it would have been a poor idea for me to have a beer in the fridge last week - I just might have reached for it. Maybe I wouldn't have too. But why take that risk?

Can I go to a bar if I have a good reason to go? Yes. I have. I would rather not though. It just isn't that much fun. I can go to parties where there is drinking - again, it isn't that much fun. I think if I spend too much time doing these things, I might eventually make the decision to take the action to join in the "fun."

I love socializing with my AA friends, but notice that the "higher bottom" drunks don't tend to socialize as much as the kind of people I got sober with. We really NEEDED each other. People who made a rational decision that they might be drinking too much and came to AA and hadn't lost their families and friends don't really NEED to socialize with a bunch of people they met in AA.

I am all over the place this morning, when I need to be in one place - my office. I better get ready to go there.

Grateful to be a sober, productive, member of my community today. (Being on my HOA board has some benefits too... the trick or treat parents could say "Hi Mary - kiddies, say Trick or Treat!" when they knocked on my door last night - that was fun!)

And please, if you are going to vote tomorrow, take the time to think about who and what you are voting for - and why. Voting is a grave responsibility. You have the future in your hands. It is not enough just to go vote. You need to know what you are voting for or against.

Those ads will be off the air in 2 days!!


Syd said...

Very true words about voting. I hope that each person knows the issues and has done some reading, not just listening to TV or radio.

Alcohol is the worst IMO. I hate the damage done.

dAAve said...

Interesting concept about socializing and higher bottom alkies. I may investigate that further.
And maybe I won't.

AnyEdge said...

Yeah, MC, I generally avoid situations like you describe. I can be around those drinking, but I don't need to put myself in those situations when other things are weighing on me.

That 'alcohol is the worst' study is being reported incredibly badly. What it says is that although heroin and cocaine are more dangerous to the individual user alcohol has more serious consequences to society because there are so many more users.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your honesty Mary Christine. I will remember what you have written this past few days when I am in the depths some time in the future. This will give me comfort that 'this too will pass' and I hope keep me from thinking a drink is the solution.

I am glad the darkness is lifting.

You would probably define me as a 'higher bottom alkie'. I prefer to avoid drinking social situations if possible. But then I never liked them much anyway as I couldn't drink enough! I did my drinking at home or in carefully arranged situations with like minded drinking friends.

Carverlane said...

The women in my home group try to do a "Ladies' Night Out" once a month, sometimes in a restaurant, but we prefer to meet at somebody's home. We have a lot of laughs! And nobody drives home drunk.

E.C. said...


I just stumbled on your blog and read some of your entries. I'm a grad student on my way to become a therapist and is in need of someone who has been sober for a long time that I can interview. So I was wondering if there is anyway I can interview you about your journey to sober living? When I do write about it, it will be completely anonymous. I hope you can consider this request.


Guinevere said...

MaryChristine... Just let me say that I enjoy your blog, and I hope you keep writing, and keep being honest about your situation, whatever it might be... I understand how difficult it can become with people in our lives, and expectations they can have, and how those expectations play out upon us. I also know that writing is important to me to figure out my own motives and directions, and sharing it with others helps immeasurably...

The Lancet study is complex, and like all complex studies it's being boiled down to handy soundbites. I reported about it on my blog and inserted a chart... I may insert another. The authors of the study tried to balance harm to the user against harm to society. They think alcohol does far more collateral damage...