Tuesday, May 08, 2012

This is an actual rosebud in my actual garden in actual real time.  Well, sort of real time.  It was taken yesterday - not last year.  I should have actual roses in bloom within a few days.  I am sure they are loving the rain.

This morning I am heading over to a meeting with my biggest challenge people.  I am going to go in there knowing that I am the expert on our discussion - because I am.  They have intimidated me in the past and I am not going to allow that to happen today.  I can be kinder when I acknowledge my strength.  When I am feeling picked-upon, I feel not so kind.  They will likely pick on me because that is their nature.  That is their nature, not mine, and I do not have to respond in kind.  I can come from my own place of strength - and kindness.

I have been thinking a lot about alcoholism lately.  I think we in AA view it is one monolithic disease.  It seems the "professionals"  don't even call it alcoholism (they call it alcohol dependence), and see in it degrees and shades of grey.  They also have an abysmal record of bringing about even basic abstinence.  AA supposedly has a pretty low rate of recovery too, but I don't believe that.  We are anonymous which makes it terribly difficult to track us.  AA does a periodic survey (I think it is every four years), I know that I have not been surveyed since 1989.  I think their sample is flawed.  I could certainly be wrong about that.  But I do KNOW that I have not been included in any AA statistics since 1989, when I was five years sober.

Anyway, my point is, I would like to explore the topic of alcoholism in the next little while.  The reason this has come to mind is the fact that I am now tracking statistics for this (not being more clear because I do not want this blog to come up in any search), and also because of my former boyfriend.  When we talked, it was clear that we were two different kinds of alcoholics.

But I don't have time right now.  I am going to go "suit up and show up."  And pray for God's grace to get me through another day.


Syd said...

I would like to read what you have to say about alcoholism. To me, the dry drunk is a terrible thing.

I would like to see a really good survey done on AA and recovery.

Syd said...

Here is what I found on the latest survey which used random sampling--hopefully, it was stratified random and not just random.

Mary said...

I really appreciated what you said about being able to be kind when you acknowledge your strength. Very true. I hope today went very well for you.

Anonymous said...

Interesting topic. Look forward to it.

The is a difference between drug abuse and drug dependence. The latter results in jail, institutions, and death. But people get the two mixed up all the time.

Mary Christine said...

Syd, I think it is interesting that the AA website has the brochure about the 2007 survey results - and that the survey is done every three years. Therefore, one would have been conducted in 2010 - and hasn't been analyzed yet?

I am pretty sure it is just a random sample. I got asked in whatever year that was by a friend who had the surveys. It is my hunch (although I could certainly be wrong) that if you hang out at a club and are friends with the GSR or other person who has the surveys, you will be surveyed. Otherwise, you are not part of the sample. Again, let me say - I could be wrong. There is no info on the AA website about how the survey is conducted.

Mary LA said...

I am looking forward to hearing your views Mary Christine -- I wonder about this kind of thing myself.

I suspect statistics on AA membership and long-term sobriety are grossly under-reported in many regions. When I was in the UK in 2008, I went to meetings all over the place, from London to Hereford, and in every single meeting, the majority of members had solid long-term sobriety. The majority were sober and there were newcomers each week and those who stayed in AA for six months or longer had a good chance of getting sober. That impressed me so much, countered the impact of the horrible binge drinking I saw amongst teenagers in London and in Wales.

Those healthy leaves on your rose look good!

Pammie said...

Yahoo on the rose, and can't wait to see it on your tablecloth ;)