Sunday, May 06, 2012
Can't think of a title.
Yesterday was awesome. Family fun. My son has a large back yard, and the kids were able to run around and enjoy themselves. We played lawn darts, barbecued, ate, talked, laughed and enjoyed each other. My three children and three grandchildren were all together. It was delightful. My nephew is soon to leave for Japan. I will miss having another family member in the state.
I cried through mass this morning and didn't have a handkerchief or kleenex with me. I better start carrying them with me because I think this sudden tearfulness is not going away any time soon. I cried in my boss' office three times last week - which for a woman of my age is something so verboten, I can't even imagine that I have done this.
Another neighbor loaned me her $4000. bicycle for my race. Heartbreakingly, I cannot ride it. It is too big for me. I can barely clear the bar and when seated my feet do not reach the pedals. I could adjust the seat, but the frame height is permanent, and my own height is going nowhere but down. So sad. But so nice to witness first hand such generosity. I will return it to her today and start getting used to the idea that I have a triathlon in a month that I have not and likely will not train for.
I had planned a big bike ride today, but it is cold and windy and I am so tired. I think I will call it a day to spend with my plants and my laundry. And maybe a dreamy little nap this afternoon.
I am trusting God that I am going to get through this depression. But I must say that for now, it really sucks.