I am grateful that I have a family to love and to love me. And they give me plenty to pray about every day.
I finally got hold of my sponsor last night. She is out of state visiting with her sister. So we could talk about family issues - both of us having very fresh experiences. We agreed that no matter how long you have been sober, how many times you have done the steps, how "well" you have gotten - there are still old wounds that will occassionally hurt.
Now please do not interpret that to mean that it is OK to walk around feeling like a victim all the time, because that is not the case. Through the steps and staying sober, one day at a time, year after year, we get freedom from that trap. We learn to walk with our heads up - claiming our places as God's people on this earth. We learn to take responsibility for our selves and our happiness. And that is truly a miracle.
"We form ideas as to what we think God's will is for other people. We say to ourselves, 'This one ought to be cured of his fatal malady,' or 'That one ought to be relieved of his emotional pain,' and we pray for these specific things. Such prayers, of course, are fundamentally good acts, but often they are based upon a supposition that we know God's will for the person for whom we pray. This means that side by side with an earnest prayer there can be a certain amount of presumption and conceit in us. It is AA's experience that particuarly in these cases we ought to pray that God's will, whatever it is, be done for others as well as for ourselves." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 104