Thursday, September 28, 2006

fAAmily issues

I am grateful that I have a family to love and to love me. And they give me plenty to pray about every day.

I finally got hold of my sponsor last night. She is out of state visiting with her sister. So we could talk about family issues - both of us having very fresh experiences. We agreed that no matter how long you have been sober, how many times you have done the steps, how "well" you have gotten - there are still old wounds that will occassionally hurt.

Now please do not interpret that to mean that it is OK to walk around feeling like a victim all the time, because that is not the case. Through the steps and staying sober, one day at a time, year after year, we get freedom from that trap. We learn to walk with our heads up - claiming our places as God's people on this earth. We learn to take responsibility for our selves and our happiness. And that is truly a miracle.

"We form ideas as to what we think God's will is for other people. We say to ourselves, 'This one ought to be cured of his fatal malady,' or 'That one ought to be relieved of his emotional pain,' and we pray for these specific things. Such prayers, of course, are fundamentally good acts, but often they are based upon a supposition that we know God's will for the person for whom we pray. This means that side by side with an earnest prayer there can be a certain amount of presumption and conceit in us. It is AA's experience that particuarly in these cases we ought to pray that God's will, whatever it is, be done for others as well as for ourselves." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 104

7 comments:

dAAve said...

We read that passage at my 6:30 meeting this morning. That's twice I've read it in 2 hours. Wassup with that?

Love the pic.

Christine said...

what a relief to not have to try to ask God to fix everyone the way I think they should be fixed. And that God's imagination and timing is oh so much bigger and better than mine--
what a relief to no longer believe I am God but to have one

lash505 said...

I need to read that more often. I always felt that if god couldn't fix them than I surely could. Glad to see things are better.

Gwen said...

I like what you wrote MC. I was never much of a victim. It took me 12 years to even admit to any pain my family caused. Talk about some serious DENIAL. I learned I can admit and feel the pain without blame or being a victim. Just acknowledgement of the reality of how things were/are. Thanks for your post.

green eyed girl on planet earth said...

Hi
your post was very touching , both parts , may God watch over you and yours and carry you when/if needed . Take care ,have faith
Greeneyes

Scott said...

family... yeah we all have our boo-boos there... mine are healed, but there are still scars, and from time to time I get a scrape on one of those scars. But, the damage is never as great and the fiasco is never as fiery or long winded as it used to be. Yay God, AA and the 12 Steps, thanks!

Al-Anon Lifer said...

Thanks for this. I am so blessed to know people in AA and to be in Al-Anon that originally borrowed its program from AA. We have the same ism, in the end, and the beginning. I've had even more "trauma" in my life. If you care to read my blog. Thanks again.