Thursday, September 17, 2009

For some reason...

I am at a loss tonight. I started writing a couple of things, but they were silly and I deleted them. I seem to be "tone deaf" a bit lately. I am trying to be a bit more mindful before my mouth opens - especially at work. Yesterday I made a phone call that I had no way of knowing was going to be a disaster - I got off the phone feeling just terrible. And knowing there is no way of knowing every single situation in a large organization. No one can know everything, and certainly I cannot.

Today I was at a meeting that started with a thank you presentation to one of my favorite peers at work. He has been there for 30 years, and has recently decided to retire so that the younger men in his department will not lose their jobs - that is the kind of guy he is. He started tearing up. I started tearing up. I looked around the room, and there was nary a dry eye in the room. Someone left the room to get a box of kleenex. We moved from that topic to the subject of suicide... then to H1N1. It was not uplifting.

And in the midst of this, in my personal life, I feel that I have been let out of the prison that was my migraine hell. I RAN 4 miles this morning before work. 2 weeks ago I would have bet you money that I could not run 2 miles and yet today I was able to run 4 miles. I cannot believe it. I feel like I have been let out of prison. And I get to work all happy and then realize I am severely out of synch with the general tone of the place. It is OK. I just need to be mindful of where I am and be sensitive to that.

I am so grateful for 10 days without a migraine. Someday this will seem normal (I hope) but for now, it seems like heaven. I am going to enjoy every second of it.

14 comments:

Ed G. said...

I'm happy that you've had some physical/emotional relief in the midst of your other challenges and changes.

I thought about walking .4 mile yesterday but that thought quickly passed. Some of us are so slow at picking up this exercise thing that it looks like we're going backwards. You give me hope.

Blessings and aloha...

Anonymous said...

I have a dear friend approaching 1 year sober. While he knows that he is doing good, his physical health is poor and it is not helping reinforce the good diligent work he is doing in AA and beyond...he feels like he is sicker now than 6 months ago and a year ago..any thoughts? He goes to the Dr. he seems desperate for a cure/reason, but nothing has turned up.

Pam said...

Holy Schmoley girl!!!
I'm so glad to hear that the new medicine is working. I know the running is going to be great for all the emotional work events lately....cuz you're weird like that....little lemon zest.

dAAve said...

Hi.

Scott said...

I pray that you continue your relief from the migraines. That is just awesome!

Scott W said...

I had migraines every day in high school and would come home to sleep to make them go away. I wondered if one day they would be gone. It happened. They are debilitating.

kel said...

OK, so this has nothing to do with your post this morning, but yesterday, after I read your post I was out at a Rite Aid near my job, and guess what they wee selling right behind the counters? None other than Zippo Candle Lighters! Thought you may find that interesting.

ws said...

I guess the answer to your question is yes. So, I'm blogging again, at least for today.

I'm totally unwilling to go to a doctor for my migraines because I have no hope they'll be able to do anything for me. You're giving me hope, slowly.

Hope you have a good day.

Wendy

Syd said...

I like what you wrote about the man who is retiring. That was a selfless act.

I'm glad that there is relief from your migraines and that you are back running. It soothes your soul.

Lou said...

Run, Mary, Run! Glad to read you are doing a marathon next year. Be sure to wear a t-shirt with something meaningful on it. I didn't know the first marathon I ran that spectators pick up on that and yell out encouragement based on what your shirt says. My daughter wore her college logo t-shirt, that inspired all kinds of yelling;)

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