At work today in a horrifyingly depressing 2 hour meeting, I stared out the window at the cold rain falling on my favorite tree in a courtyard below. I vowed that I would take a photo of the leaves when the meeting was over. I told that to one of my colleagues as we left the meeting. She said to me "it is not as pretty this year." And I responded, "nothing is."
So I will go back and tell you all something that my old readers have heard over and over and over again. I call myself "high maintenance," not because I need lots of jewelry, expensive cars, or nights on the town. I am high maintenance because I need lots of high quality sleep, high quality food - no white stuff (sugar, flour, etc.), good exercise, alone time, fellowship time and other things to keep me going pretty good. I have a tendency towards pretty severe depression. I have kept it away for a good many years now by doing these things. My equilibrium tends to get disrupted during season changes, time changes, and major changes in my life.
Praise God, I do not have to drink or go mental today (or take anti-depressants). But I am not feeling well. I don't know exactly what is going on, but I suspect it is mainly that my system is thrown off by some changes in my routine.
I also know that just because I don't feel great doesn't necessarily mean anything. The way I "feel" is not an accurate gauge of how I really am. I just need to keep doing what I am supposed to be doing and have faith that I will get to the other side.
Thanks for listening....