Friday, May 18, 2012
He has been sick, I can tell he is trying to get out his last words. He does this from time to time. My father was very sickly and did this too. They both have/had very serious illnesses that they keep/kept recovering from, which leads people to tire of their "dying" wishes. But my father did die one day, and Larry will too. Maybe it really is this time, I do not know.
Larry said "I want you to know that I have loved you all these years Mary. I wanted to be with you, but loved you enough to back away from you so that you could have a whole man, not a half a man like me. I have sat across the room all these years, all these years, and loved you. I stopped everything so that you could have a whole man, not some old sumbitch like me who is falling apart all over the place. So, thank you Father, for making Mary, and making her so useful, even when she doesn't know what is going on. I love you Mary in a place where there's no space and time. Hold your head up high and smile Mary because you are one of God's special angels."
This caused me to cry, and I am still crying. It has been so long since I have heard a proclamation of love from a man. I have known that Larry loves me, but it is nice to hear it. I will hold this in my heart all day today. I will call him back tonight or tomorrow. But there is not a call back required. He wanted to tell me this, not to get a reaction, but to tell me his heart.
If you are new to AA, you may think those people in meetings are just scenery, or annoying, but if you stick around and talk to people, you will form friendships that are unique and priceless.
Thank you God that I have had a friend like Larry.