Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My nature vs. what is good


First let me tell you: I don't even want to write this blog entry today. For reasons I won't go into - I just did and then deleted it because I sound like Wendy Whiner. But I will write because I made a commitment to do this, and I try with all my might to honor my commitments.

Now I just deleted 3 paragraphs of what is going on in my life. I don't feel like sharing that today.

Here is what I will say: yesterday I discovered that somehow in the excitement of having my son here and all that goes with that, I had forgotten to pick up my estrogen refill at the pharmacy - 2 weeks ago. I was having mood stuff going on, and I was having hot flashes and night sweats, and somehow it didn't register that I hadn't been taking my estrogen? It will take a couple days to get back to some semblance of normalcy (for me.)

I will go out for a run at first light. I am training for a half-marathon. I love to run and it frequently straightens out my thinking. I think there is something so therapeutic about the rhythm of breathing and foot strikes, being out in the morning air and sunshine, and working up a sweat.

Mainly what I will do is know that the way I "feel" is not an accurate gauge of my spiritual condition. Being "happy" does not mean I am doing what is right or good. I will trust God and know that all is well. All is just as it should be.

"Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 3

12 comments:

Pam said...

MC- I added a line to my blog this morning :) Cuz I spew all the time on my blog.
Girl, when I miss even a couple of days of my harmones, I'm all kinds of funky.
I want to hear what's going on with you, even if it is whinning. No need to censure yourself.
I'm your fan no what what mood you come in this day.

Motorcycle Mike - Sober Biker said...

My hormone du jour is fellowship, hot coffee and chocolate donuts and I am going to be late if I keep reading your blogs.

Later, Mike

Scott W said...

That is the perfect quote for this post. We have the perfect program for living life. So all around it's all good, right?

dAAve said...

Damn!

Shannon said...

yep- I know what you are talkin about
I hope the run helped

Kathy Lynne said...

God I needed to hear that today. Thanks. Hope you find your balance.

Christine said...

yep, feelings aren't facts for me anymore

But I do hope that whatever is bothering you---beyond the hormone stuff--- that you find your way thru it soon and the lesson is a gentle one

Syd said...

I don't know what my hormones are doing but the full moon has got me crazy or close to it.

Scott said...

Maybe my wife would benefit from taking some sort of hormones? What you're describing sounds similar to what she goes through quite frequently.
I hope ya get to feeling better...

lushgurl said...

Hey gurl, get them hormones ASAP, life is too short and busy to be sfferin' through them dreaded hot flashes and not sleeping well due to night sweats!!!
Rant awawy, whine whatever,I still love ya, and will stalk ya anyways!

AAwoken said...

actually knew a girl whose name was Wendy Winer. To top it off she whined lie no other woman.
Sorry you are in a bad space re: job. All will be well and thank God your son is home.

Namenlosen Trinker said...

Write, delete; write, delete. Write some more, delete some more. I'm quite familiar with the cycle and often for the same reason.

(Shannon, there's a term for a name like that: it's called an aptronym, cuz it's so apt. Wikipedia has a short list of some. My all-time fav is the pediatric urologist I heard interviewed on NPR: Dr Whizwell!)