Tuesday, August 28, 2007
My nature vs. what is good
First let me tell you: I don't even want to write this blog entry today. For reasons I won't go into - I just did and then deleted it because I sound like Wendy Whiner. But I will write because I made a commitment to do this, and I try with all my might to honor my commitments.
Now I just deleted 3 paragraphs of what is going on in my life. I don't feel like sharing that today.
Here is what I will say: yesterday I discovered that somehow in the excitement of having my son here and all that goes with that, I had forgotten to pick up my estrogen refill at the pharmacy - 2 weeks ago. I was having mood stuff going on, and I was having hot flashes and night sweats, and somehow it didn't register that I hadn't been taking my estrogen? It will take a couple days to get back to some semblance of normalcy (for me.)
I will go out for a run at first light. I am training for a half-marathon. I love to run and it frequently straightens out my thinking. I think there is something so therapeutic about the rhythm of breathing and foot strikes, being out in the morning air and sunshine, and working up a sweat.
Mainly what I will do is know that the way I "feel" is not an accurate gauge of my spiritual condition. Being "happy" does not mean I am doing what is right or good. I will trust God and know that all is well. All is just as it should be.
"Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 3