Last night my sprinkler guy came over. He is a fellow AA member, has been sober 21 years, so we have lots to talk about. After we got the sprinkler system up and running, we stood outside and talked for about an hour. It was wonderful! We talked about how much AA has changed in our tenures. How much we miss the good old days when people did not tolerate so much. When someone would be happy to tell you when you were full of shit.
Now we like to be sweet to everyone. No one seems to care that we may be killing them with kindness. And in my opinion, being "kind" to newcomers is more about me looking good and being likable than it is about helping another suffering alcoholic. Some of the kindest things that have been said or done to me have seemed cruel at the time.
Got to get to work. Have a sweet day everyone.
7 comments:
Hmmm. Yes it is "cruel to be kind". I try not to do it. I try to be as honest and clear as I can. I don't care if newcomers like me -- I have plenty of AA friends who have stuck it out with me over the years. And I still love dearly every seemingly unkind thing said to me -- early on and today -- that saves my life another day.
I love those impromptu meetings like the one with sprinkler guy.
Tell it like it is.
I think it's all about living in this politically correct world.
ICANNOTSTANDPOLITICALCORRECTNESS!!
Absolutely - right on!!!
The kinder, gentler, PC AA, "pat you on your back for coming back AA," baby-sitting AA, sorry - don't want to hurt your feelings AA, is lying to the newcomer (or the sufferer) about what the truth is...
When did the folks who've been around become so concerned with the younger people "liking us?"
Then, there's a new school of suddenly smart folks who have it all together...
AAaaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!
It's a fine line isn't it?
Trying to be welcoming to the newcomer, but sharing the truth with them also.
I decided that I'm not there to baby sit or coddle my sponsees. Either they want what the program and I have to offer or they don't.
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