Sunday, April 19, 2009

Sunday Evening

My daughter and I went shopping this afternoon.  I managed to find a green apron and an orange camisole - how cool is that!  Well, and I purchased an orange tee too, just because it was on sale.  

I just got off the phone with my sponsor.  We talked about all that I am doing.  She said (and I agreed) that it is just too much.  I told her it was just so hard because all the things I am doing are just so good!  I want to do them all!  She said that at a certain point in sobriety, we have to pick between the good and the good.  We have so many good things open up as opportunities to us, it is difficult to say no to any of them.  

I know for many of us, we need to work on learning to say "no."  Truly, I had to learn how to say "yes."  I knew how to say no.  No was my answer to everything.  But in sobriety, good things started happening and I had to learn to embrace them, and not walk away.  I had to learn how to take chances and spread my wings and find out who and what I am.  I had to actually TRY to the best of my ability and then in the process I got to find out WHAT the best of my ability actually is.  The "best of my ability" astounded me, because I always felt that I was somehow less than others.  

I think it is time to back off a bit.  That is a sad realization for me.  I don't want to back off.   I want to be fully engaged in life, not backing away from it.  

Tomorrow I will go talk with my physician.  I will get a better idea of what is going on with my health.  

For now, I need to hit the sack and I thank God for another sober day.  A day when I didn't hurt anyone.  A day when the phone rang so many times because I have friends who care about me.  A day when I got to laugh with my daughter and go shopping for silly, frivolous things.  And that is very good.

Thank you God.  

12 comments:

dAAve said...

More shall be revealed.

Steve E. said...

And when more has been revealed, possibly more will be seen.

Thank God for good sponsor.
Thank God for Good night.
And a good night to all.....

Pam said...

well Mary, maybe that is my problem too. I know I say yes to much and it's just for the same reason you said, there are just so many good things to say yes too.
I love your purchases.

Ed G. said...

I can relate...

What I've found is that, when I take on more than I can offer my best toward, the good enough becomes the enemy of the best I can be... (paraphrasing Bill W. here...)

We have a big struggle around that in our house...

Scott W said...

You look good in orange and green. I haven't silly shopped in a long time, except when we were at Waterworks and I found this great room spray. I would not usually spend $40 on stuff like that, but it smells soooooooooooo good.

Kathy Lynne said...

That seems to be where I am too..though more in and around AA as opposed to taking advantage of life's opportunities. Maybe I just haven't left enought time to even do that. I have spread myself too thin and am in danger of getting burnt out. I thought leaving the blog would help but it made things worse so I am adjusting my meeting schedule and maybe keeping my hand down a time or 2....

take care of yourself...

Trailboss said...

Many things to be grateful for. I am so glad you and your daughter spent time together this weekend.

Good luck w/the dr. Please tell us asap what he/she says.

raino said...

i love to get things on sale! you somehow feel like you've hit the jackpot.
looking forward to a post appointment update.

legally_barb said...

kind of unrelated, but related nonetheless ...

I love your blog - I miss Colorado (moved away to go to school in 2001) and I love reading about the thunder & lightening snow storms and all that comes with them! And I also love to read about your recovery and about your daughter and new floors (which look fabulous, by the way - they were the first thing I noticed in your picture of your new shows below!).

And I just wanted to send you my best wishes with your heath issues and visit with your PCP today. Hope all is well!

One Drunk to Another said...

I constantly struggle with my need/desire to do EVERYTHING! I also rely on the guidance of God and his speaking through others to keep me in check. I heard it said once that we don't desire to be balanced, but to be centered, where we know what we can and cannot do and choose accordingly. I am not there yet, but I keep trying!

Steve E. said...

Here's the way I handle it. I do not try to do everything. I DO everything! ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

And I'm enjoying and learning from these comments you're receiving, Mary. I fully believe comments can be for the readers, the peeps, as well as for the blogger of record.

Syd said...

Lots of people care about you. I used to say yes to everything. Now I've learned that No is a sentence. It's okay and I don't feel guilty about it at all.