I am a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Sober, by the Grace of God, since July 24, 1984.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
To Thine Own Self Be True
And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.. -- William Shakespeare.
As I got sober, I was taught that I had to be honest, and in order to be honest with anyone else, I had to first be honest with myself. I need to do a great deal of self-examination of my motives, of my behavior, and of my circumstances.
I was surrounded by people who simply would not tolerate game playing from me. It was a hard thing to learn. To learn to openly say the truth. Not to skirt around it and leave people wondering what is going on. That is not a kind thing to do to someone.
I had to come to learn who I was and what I wanted. Then I had to learn how to state that. No one has to guess who I am or what my motives are.
Today I took a run and brought my camera with me. I took many pictures that I didn't think I was going to like because there was a cloud shrouding a mountain that is normally sunlit and bright in the morning when I run. When I got home, I was thrilled to see the photos. They are pretty!
And so, regardless of what is going on or not going on in my life, I know who I am. I know that I can take a run in the morning and be inspired by God's creation. I know that I talked with my sponsor tonight and I am looking forward to her visit this weekend. I know that I talked with 2 out of 3 of my children today and that we ended our conversations with "I love you." I know that I am meeting with a sponsee tomorrow morning to read the big book.
The people in my life know what to expect from me because I communicate with them.
I am a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous; that is a blessing and a responsibility.