Wednesday

Did you ever know a gift shop lady volunteer at a hospital?  They are usually retired, grey haired, and kind hearted - or they wouldn't be spending their time, earning no money, working at a gift shop.  Particularly at a psych hospital.  Patients in the gift shop require a special kind of interpersonal skill I know I don't possess.  

One of my favorites died over the weekend.  Her face always lit up when I walked into the shop and she would say "Hi Mary!" as if she was waiting all day for me to come in and now that I had, her day was complete.  I am sure she treated everyone that way, but you would never know it, because you just felt so special because of the way she treated you.

I had planned to attend her funeral tomorrow.  But something else I absolutely must attend was scheduled at the same time.  So, instead of doing what I should be doing and being at my friend's funeral, I will be sitting in a stinky conference room discussing an event that I have a hard time talking about without crying, and I will sit there and calmly dissect the event like I am a robot.  I will write it up and analyze it and talk to people about what we can do better, and how we are not going to have this happen again, etc.  

Tonight I went over to my neighbor's.  I should have known not to do this.  She is moving.  It is their last night in their house.   As I left, she hugged me and thanked me for all that I have done for her (not that it was anything that wasn't a pleasure for me), and there were the waterworks again.  He husband found me a Kleenex and I got the heck out of there.  

I am sad tonight about a couple of losses. I know that tomorrow it will seem different.  But tonight, it feels so sad.

Good bye Erma.  You were a one of a kind.  They don't make 'em like you anymore.  I will miss you terribly.