When I was fairly newly sober someone in my AA group died. When I was asked if I was going to the funeral, I flatly stated "I don't do funerals." Someone asked me why, and I actually told her that I didn't like funerals! She laughed and said "do you think we LIKE funerals?" I really thought about that... and honestly I thought they might like funerals, but I knew I didn't. I was told I was going to the funeral. That it was important for me to show my face and be there. Oh, I did not like that!
But I learned to go to funerals. And hospitals (I didn't do hospitals either). I learned to stop thinking about myself 24/7 and to start thinking about what I could bring to others.
I am so grateful that I learned how to be a human being in Alcoholics Anonymous.
10 comments:
I used to say that too. It was very selfish.
Same here.
I said that when I was younger about funerals, weddings, etc. I realized eventually how selfish that was. Now I go to all those things and let myself feel the feelings. It is cathartic.
TGIF is all I got to say.
being able to sit with my feelings is the greatest gift I have been given. I no longer feel the need to crawl into a bottle, I know that the feeling will pass and be replaced with yet another feeling. Sorry to hear about your friend.
lovin' you Mary.
Nice post, stated well the growth we come to know if we work the steps...
I've had similar experience.
My only problem with funerals that I go to in AA (I'm old and been sober a long time so I've been to many) is when the folks sharing forget that it's also about the dead person or their family. I've been to funerals recently where, if I heard one more drunk share about how this event affected me, I was going to puke.
Milestones seem to be important to acknowledge, but it's also good to notice that others might be more affected than me...
Blessings and aloha...
I've gone from saying that, to being able to be grateful for the chance to attend.
Oh Ed, I could write a whole post about what AA members do to unsuspecting funerals - they take it over and totally overrun the family. It is truly awful.
I was just a simple person at the back of the church yesterday. Just there to show my support for my colleague.
Post a Comment