I did finally go to the pool this morning. And I swam with a torn rotator cuff. Did I tell you all I have a torn rotator cuff? I may not have. I get sick of my physical ailments and try to zip my lip about them. So, this morning I went swimming for the first time in about 6 months. It hurt, but it was good anyway. After the swim, I got into the hot tub - there was some long-grey-haired guy in there. He told me all about his bad back. About his car accident. About the drunk driver who hit him. How he can't get any money out of the insurance company. How the drunk driver needs to go to jail "because that is the only way she will learn." I must have raised my eyebrows at that because then he said "I AM AN ALCOHOLIC!!!! I KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF!" And praise God, I have finally learned to sometimes shut my mouth, I just said something like "hmmmm, it is really hot in here, I better go."
I have been to two AA meetings in the last 14 hours that were all about the step before the first step. The knowing that you are absolutely done drinking. The pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. If you don't know what that is, I would echo the third chapter of the big book and suggest you go out and try some controlled drinking. (oh, this does not make me a popular girl, I must admit.)
OK, it is Saturday. It is glorious outside. I might just get outside and clean up the winter debris in my garden. Wouldn't that be lovely?
Regardless, I will stay sober, and I hope you all do too.
8 comments:
In Al-Anon, we call that the Al-Anon "Oh." Same thing, good job!
Torn rotator cuff - I know from experience that is not pleasant.
Those hints of spring are lovely. Full of hope.
I assume you're doing some correct therapy for that rotator cuff.
I've been cleaning up the backyard winter mess all week and am finished. Already, little green sprouts are coming out.
I didn't realize I was done drinking unitl I'd been around AA for 3 months. By then, I knew what to do.
I wish you healing thoughts on your RC - I hope your regimen helps.
Glad some people have all the answers (hot tub man) because I seem to only collect more questions and gray areas myself. Here's to an AA that is for and by alcoholics.
Blessings and aloha...
When I tore mine I was told to follow the doctor's instructions, be patient, and to not overdo because it takes awhile to heal. They were right. I hope the swimming was enjoyable and you have a wonderful weekend.
♥namaste♥
I can't find your email address, but I want to invite you to do a guest post on "Or so she says..." blog, found at www.oneshetwoshe.com. We are a women's blog that offers daily ideas and education for women...usually fun, but sometimes serious. We recently had a viewer request that we do a post on alcoholism/addiction. She said, sometimes it feels like "you're all alone". We would love a post giving ideas, advice, resources, and information to help those who may also be struggling. Let me know what you think. Email me at ladies@oneshetwoshe.com if you are interested.
Mariel
www.oneshetwoshe.com
I could hardly sleep when my rotator cuff was pulled. It was very painful but physical therapy helped. Hope that you'd heals--it just takes time.
I am always fascinated by "when you finally realize that you are done, that you need help" I'm reading an excellent book that shares many people's realization of when they needed help. It's called "Moments of Clarity" by Christopher Kennedy Lawford. For me, my HP threw numerous signs that I needed to admit that I was an alcoholic and that I needed to get to AA. Recently a friend asked, "Do you think you will ever drink again?" and I answered what I truly believe and that was, "If I ever thought I was going to drink again I never would have walked through the doors of AA"! That is what is in my heart! Hoping you heal quickly!
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