After the swim, I got into the hot tub - there was some long-grey-haired guy in there. He told me all about his bad back. About his car accident. About the drunk driver who hit him. How he can't get any money out of the insurance company. How the drunk driver needs to go to jail "because that is the only way she will learn." I must have raised my eyebrows at that because then he said "I AM AN ALCOHOLIC!!!! I KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF!" And praise God, I have finally learned to sometimes shut my mouth, I just said something like "hmmmm, it is really hot in here, I better go."
I have been to two AA meetings in the last 14 hours that were all about the step before the first step. The knowing that you are absolutely done drinking. The pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. If you don't know what that is, I would echo the third chapter of the big book and suggest you go out and try some controlled drinking. (oh, this does not make me a popular girl, I must admit.)
OK, it is Saturday. It is glorious outside. I might just get outside and clean up the winter debris in my garden. Wouldn't that be lovely?
Regardless, I will stay sober, and I hope you all do too.