Friday, March 26, 2010

After careful consideration, much prayer, and two sleepless nights....


I have decided to continue blogging.

Blogging has been, for the most part, a very positive thing in my life. It has, for the most part, had a positive impact on others. As a result of blogging, I have met others who I absolutely love - not in that generic "I Love Everyone" way, but in the way I really love the few people in my life I truly love.

In my life, I have often cared much too deeply about others' opinions of me. When I first started blogging I wondered if I had the stomach for the mean spirited comments. I still wonder. I would like to say though - there are lots of blogs out there, if I read them and don't like them, I move on. I don't keep coming back and leaving crappy comments. Could you please do me the same honor? I don't expect everyone to like me or my blog, but just move along if you don't.

My blog has always been deeply personal. That has been my choice. But sometimes it has seemed to be a crazy choice. My trip to Vegas brought a lot of visitors to my blog who left what I considered offensive comments. Imagine writing about visiting the Cathedral and having someone come by and say "enjoy SIN city!" yeah. Or writing about my son's wedding and having advertisements for lawyers who can get me off from any drug charge. That makes me sick. I know that I take things too seriously, it is my nature. On a good day, things might roll of my back, but not lately.

Our blogging fellowship has changed. Just like my meetings. It causes me profound sadness. I cannot be sanguine about this. I miss people terribly. I have real flesh and blood relationships with some other bloggers. They are more than words on my monitor. They are actually people. And I miss them. I will especially miss Pammie. That is why when I read that she was quitting, I thought I was ready to throw in the towel.

But I guess I wasn't. I will continue.

Because:
  • I love to write and consider it an honor that someone might want to read what I write
  • I have on many occasions been able to answer the plaintive e-mail of a drunk looking for help - and consider it an honor to be able to steer them to their local AA meeting
  • A belief that God can be present in this medium... we touch each other and I think God can always be present in that
  • Your blogs teach me about other lives, other hemispheres, other perspectives - I would never know otherwise
  • I feel an obligation to have some sort of web-presence for something akin to an AA message - not distorted by rehab-speak or some voodoo religion - and there is a scarcity of it - and the more bloggers who write about it, the better
  • The relationships - I know we say we will keep up with each other as we leave, but it is my experience that is seldom true. There are many of you who mean so much to me. I want to stay.
I want to stay. That is the bottom line.

Thank you for so many kind comments. And thank you for being a part of my life for the last four and a half years.

21 comments:

Syd said...

I am glad for those reasons too. I hoped that you wouldn't leave. Your message is one that people need to read. And your consistency says a lot. I can count on you, Dave and Pammie for showing up. That means a lot.

Anonymous said...

It is important to try to pass on your Wisdom & Knowledge so that people will know how to see what is True, what is Just and what is Right. Smooth Seas never made a Skilled Mariner!

Carverlane said...

YAY! You made my day! I have been having my morning cup of coffee with you, Pam and dAAve for a while now. I am honored to be able to read what you write. Even when it's about trivial stuff. Just another day in recovery!

Kim from sAn Antonio

Trailboss said...

Thank goodness! I thought everyone was going to stop blogging. I am especially going to miss Pammy. It's like Syd said yesterday, like losing a friend. I'm glad you'll still be around to read.

Willa said...

This morning is beginning to be a wonderful one, starting with your words, Mary. I am still happy as ever to read your blog most mornings (always in the evenings if I didn't get a chance to previously).

It helps reading about your life, and how you think the principles of AA apply to it.

There is definitely something wonderful about reading what another sober person thinks and how they handle things in everyday life. THANK YOU again, Mary.

dAAve said...

I'm happy about your decision. I learned that perseverance is one of the principles of a spritual life, so the more I see it in others, the more likely I will be to practice it in my own life.

I don't know why you get so many unwanted comments and spam. I get almost nothing of the sort. So far.

FYI - I'm showing the Riviera tomorrow.

Julianne said...

I went back and read my comments to you during your trip to make sure I hadn't sent anything offensive. (Laughing hysterically right now!) Afterall, it is all about me, right?

Seriously, I am glad you came to a resolution for YOU that brings you peace.

Welcome back. You were missed.

Anonymous said...

What I am hearing is a sigh of relief from many Peeps who are glad for your decision, Mary.

Thank You, God, for spiriting Mary to continue.

kel said...

YAY! I am so happy you are staying! Welcome Back! You really do make a difference!

Patty said...

Wonderful! Now get some rest!

Anonymous said...

I've only been reading your post since the beginning of december and thought oh no she's stopping just when I decided you were one of the ones I wanted to read every day along with Pam's and Syd's so glad your staying

aa girl 5862 said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for continuing to share your experience, strength and hope.

chitowngreg said...

Here, here! Delighted to hear it and look forward to continuing to benefit for your experience, strength and hope! Hope a great weekend!!

Her Big Sad said...

I am so very very glad! Praying you will have a restful and deeply peaceful weekend! (Hug!)

marie said...

I am glad you are staying on. I just posted the following comment on Ed G.'s post dated yesterday, and I want to convey the same message to you re: your post today. Please excuse the repeat of words, but I don't know how to say it any other way. "I think this is just a cool way to connect with others. I truly believe God wants us all to do this life thing together, not alone. For if I am alone, I may start to believe that I am all I need and then, (after a lot of pain), I find myself literally back at Step 1." Many blessings, Mary.

AnyEdge said...

Glad you're sticking around MC. I'd miss you a lot.

Garykfc said...

Wow, you so make me want to continue blogging no matter what. Thank you, you are a wonderful writer, please keep going. Have a great weekend.

Mary LA said...

A hard decision for you, but such good news --

Annette said...

I'm glad you will still be out here. I don't comment a lot but I love your writings and would miss you a lot if you left. ((HUG))

garden-variety drunk said...

I'm so happy to hear that you will be staying and sharing your sober journey with us.

congrats on your son's wedding and many blessing to your growing family :)

Peggy G said...

Your blog is a blessing to me. Glad you are staying, VERY good reasons.