Today is my twin daughters' 31st birthday. They both have the day off and talked about doing something together. That is pretty wonderful. I am more grateful than words can say that these two women - so incredibly different yet both women I am not only proud of, but would want to know even if I were not related to them - are my daughters.
Do you know what else that means? I am really getting old. Lately I am really seeing it in the mirror. I also see it mirrored in the faces at, of all places, AA meetings.
I am a 58 year old woman who has been sober for over 25 years. I am now older than the mothers of some of the new folks hitting the doors. I have been sober longer than some of them have been alive. And lately, I see their eyes gloss over when I start sharing in meetings. (and just to clarify, I never talk for longer than a few minutes... unlike a lot of longtimers, I do not think the whole room is waiting to hear me go on and on for 45 minutes.) When I talk to my sponsor about this, she says "get used to it because it will get worse."
But I must be quick to add that I would rather be saddened by this than the alternative... I cannot even imagine being a 58 year old woman who is drinking or who is coming to a meeting raising her hand. I cannot control the number of years I have been alive, but I do have some say in whether or not I will continue to accrue sober time. I think I will opt to stay sober, and do what it takes to remain so, regardless of whether anyone thinks I am "relevant" to them.
God will always be with me as I journey down this rugged trail. His plan for me has always been infinitely superior to anything my puny mind has dreamed up.