Thursday, May 13, 2010


My house is full of flowers intended for the (frozen May) outdoors. A rosebush sits on the bar between the kitchen and the dining room - aren't the roses glorious? My entry way is full of pots of flowers, there are trays of flowers sitting in boxes on rugs scattered about in the living room. Last night when I got home from work, I carefully walked down the icy back stairs to the back yard to take clippings off my beloved lilac bush - you can see a vase full on the dining room table. They are still not fully open. I still have hope that what remains outdoors are not fully frozen - I guess I will know tonight when I get home from work. I checked my rosebushes in the front (which has a southern exposure), and they are fine. The back, with its northern exposure, could be a different story. I will live through it - and I certainly will not need a drink over it.

Today my sponsor and her husband are due to arrive. I am thinking they may change their minds if they think there is too much snow on the mountain passes. I am very excited that they may be here when I get home from work. I have a refrigerator full of food and a guest bedroom all fluffed up for them. The guest bathroom has clean towels, new soaps, nice candles, new toilet paper, and is as good as it gets. The downstairs family room is dusted and vacuumed and ready for "prime time."

I am so ready to sit down and talk with this woman I love so much.

I had a hard time finding a good sponsor. I have some horror stories, unfortunately, about experiences with sponsors. I am so grateful I never let these experiences color my opinion of AA or change my resolve to stay sober.

When I was sober almost eleven years, I was at a meeting with one of those know-it-all guys. It was before the meeting, and he asked me who my sponsor was. I told him. It was Eva. I loved Eva. He asked me who Eva was. I told him. He asked me how often I talked to Eva. Well, the truth was, I didn't talk to Eva very often. Mr. Know-it-All then had the nerve to tell me I needed to ask M. to be my sponsor. I was incredulous that this guy would have the nerve to tell me to get a new sponsor - and then tell me who it should be!

And just about ten seconds later, M. walked into this meeting. She never went to this meeting. I sat through the meeting wondering about the meaning of this. I asked God to help me with discernment. After the meeting, I asked her to be my sponsor. She, in her inimitable crusty way, asked me if I was "ready to work the program." Oh! I could not believe she would say something like that to me! I was sober nearly 11 years! What did she think I had been doing? I spent that night, sleepless, wondering why that bothered me so much.

That has now been 15 years ago. This woman has become someone so important to me. I have a bookshelf in my bedroom with all of my AA literature. It has photographs of my grandparents, my parents, and my M., my sponsor. I didn't plan it that way. But she is that important to me. She is family to me. She and her husband retired a few years ago and moved to the other side of the State. We talk on the phone a couple of times a week, and see each other a couple of times a year.

And I think I am going to see her today! Yay!


Anonymous said...

I am having such trouble right now with my Sponser, I don't know what to do, but your posting gives me hope that I just need to keep on going forward, and perhaps pray for the answer which I know is deep down inside.

shadowlands said...

I pray you have some real 'quality' time, as you say in America.

It all sounds so cosy!

Hey, guess what? The lady sitting next to me, at the life skills meeting was called Mary, and she's a member of AA too!

dAAve said...

I don't remember hearing that story before about how you "got" your sponsor. Interesting.
I can't believe it's still snowing there. I got to see the first snow of your season back in early October.

Hope said...

I hope we have seen the last of the snow here. Lilacs are still many weeks away here.

I hope you come home to see your sponsor on your doorstep. I love my sponsor.

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Syd said...

My sponsor is amazing in many ways and I am grateful to have him. Choice of a sponsor is so important. Have a good visit.

Pam said...

Oh, I hope she makes it in sugar pie.

Mary LA said...

Your sponsor sounds like a wonderful person of great integrity.

I like to think of all your unplanted rosebushes and that hydrangea staying indoors as green house guests!

Scott said...

my wife struggles with finding sponsorship and good fellowship in AA as well. Hoepfully your sponsor and her hubby can make the trip safely. It sounds like you've got yourself a regular bed and breakfast there MC!

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

YAY! What a beautiful feeling this gives in the reading of it. Love!

Her Big Sad said...

I hope they arrived safely! And I love how you are greenhousing the plants and keeping them safe for a bit! Thanks for sharing that story of how you met your awesome sponsor! What a blessing! said...

Your flowers are lovely, and I do hope you had the time to put them in the ground since the big freeze!