I was heartbroken to look out the window and see my lilac bush this morning... fallen and frozen under the weight of the snow. The absolutely only consolation I can think of is that my friend Ed G. came by yesterday and commented that he is allergic to lilacs. Well, I guess this is going to be a good year for him! So, yesterday there was a bunch of drama here. Not to belabor the point, but I said some things that were hurtful to someone. I edited my post within an hour and took out the offending material, so most of you never saw it.
Here is the point: I realized I was wrong. I prayed. I promptly contacted the person I had hurt and told her that I was sorry. We were able to quickly, through a few e-mails, make amends, and go back to our former friendly relationship. God is so good when we allow him to help us with our relationships!
Someone else, however, reads my blog every single day and got involved. I have asked her not to read my blog. I don't know why she does. I have looked at her blog a couple of times and I don't go back there because there is nothing there that I want to read (yesterday, just for giggles, I looked at it, and it talks about skinning someone alive - uugh). If I don't like someone's blog, I don't continue to go back and I don't leave mean comments. I especially don't go back every single day and wait for a day of weakness and then pounce - so to speak. She has attacked me a couple of times before when I have been feeling not well. I ALWAYS delete her comments, they are never constructive, they are never kind, they never contribute anything to the dialog here. She asked me why yesterday. Why? Because it is my blog. I can. And I will.
Most of my old readers have moved on from the blogosphere and a new (and smaller) set of readers have replaced them. Maybe you don't realize who I am. I have NEVER EVER set myself up as some expert on sobriety. I am not one who has "arrived" and will now lecture you all on how to do it. I am a person who, by the Grace of God, has not had a drink of alcohol since July 24, 1984 - and that gives me a good amount of sober experience. It does not make me immune from being a human being who has faults, emotions, and occasional troubles. The purpose of my blog is to share what life is like for a person who is living sober - one day at a time - no matter what happens. Trying my very best to practice these principles in all my affairs. Staying sober. Living peacefully. Growing closer to God.
But somedays I am just an alcoholic brat.
And I have a program for that.
Thank God.
12 comments:
Five days after you quit drinking, I got my first motorcycle. that probably means nothing.
The only reason I bring up something so trivial is that I want to convey that, like the conflict I wrote about on my own blog this morning, I suspect we often give these things far more import than their due.
I for one, and just going to try to relax my mind of these annoyances and do my own thing.
... but can you boil an egg Mary Christine? :)
(Hugs)
sorry about your lilac bush...
I am sorry about the lovely lilac bush. Hopefully, you got some cuttings from it that will scent your house for a few days. I have my days of irritation for sure. But, like you wrote, I know how to promptly admit when I am wrong. And make the amends necessary.
As to the craziness in Bloggerland, well, I suspect that there are some who only practice the principles when it suits their timing. Best to let them find their own way.
When it comes to people, places, and things, my sponsor often asks me, "So... what can you do about that?" Invariably the answer is "nothing," or "pray for acceptance." When it comes to people and relationships, all I can do is keep my side of the road clean. I cannot control others in this regard. I strive to practice these principles in all my affairs. It is an inside job. Embracing this makes me a little better, one day at a time. And everything and everyone around me benefits, too, because I do take it home...
MC..sometimes there are unhappy people that I just don't understand and I am grateful, today, that I don't understand. What I do understand is the program that helped me out of the pain and into a productive, serene, human being. I can only hope they find a solution to their pain as well. Hugs.
♥namaste♥
It seems there is always someone who has to stick their opinion in where it's not wanted.
Popped in early yesterday and missed all the subsequent drama. I have had to make amends for thoughtless or unintentionally hurtful comments and realise now that much reactivity on blogs comes from misunderstandings or unrealistic expectations.
Did you have a chance to pick some of theat lilac for the house before it froze?
I know who you are.
That's why I keep coming back.
Best of luck to you; thanks for sharing!
So...you said you were sorry. For me, I need to hear people with 'time' in AA continue to set right wrongs. Why? Cuz I can actually learn abit about what humility looks and sounds like. Sometimes all I see is what humility is not.
This note is a bit self serving. I am waiting, for a member with 'time' to step up and tell me he was wrong. I love the stuff I tell myself. Yea, I'm waiting,grins. For now, I will just see him as a spiritual teacher. Some hurt but some heal, although G-d really has that job.
So here you are now insulting someone else...ME!
Obviously I do NOT read your blog daily or else I would have seen your ugly comments. And when exactly did you "ask" me to never read your blog? That never occured, of course.
Yes I saw your nasty post about the other blogger and yes I asked why you deleted my comment and hers. None of my business, of course, but it seemed to tilt yuor whirl.
Seems you have no problem attacking people in your blog with hate and judgement when you feel the need to rage.
So for that, I will not read your blog further. Venom and resentment just aint my thing. Keep coming back!
such a depressing picture! ugh.
The lilacs here in upstate NY were in bloom for over three weeks and then hte big frost hit and killed off the weaker plants. I hope your plant makes a safe return to bloomage!
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