Monday, May 17, 2010

Merle Haggard

The title of one of Merle's songs says: I'm always on a mountain when I fall. Oh, how I love Merle. He sure can write and sing a song for an alcoholic. When I was a young drunken woman living in a small town in New Mexico, I would sit at the bar and play the song Misery and Gin over and over and over again on the juke box until the bar tender would ix-nay it every time it started. It is not exactly good for the atmosphere in a bar. Unless, of course, you would like to see everyone peering intently down into their glasses of beer, crying. (watching the video just now on YouTube actually made me cry, remembering all that pain.)

Oh, yes, these were the "good times." The times I didn't want to give up. Imagine wanting to hold on to all that "fun."

I thought it was so romantic to be a bit of a problem drinker. Interesting people had interesting problems. I never aspired to be a boring person who did everything as expected. It is certainly a good thing that was never my aspiration, because I certainly didn't disappoint myself. I pretty much screwed up everything until I got sober - and for quite a while after I got sober too actually.

My friends and I went out to a Chinese restaurant on Saturday night. I was disgusted when my fortune cookie said "you are competent, reliable, and trustworthy." My sponsor said "That is true!" Oh, I was so disappointed. I would like a fortune to say something like "you are the life of the party!" "You are the most fun person around!" But the truth today is that I am competent, reliable, and trustworthy.

I used up my lifetime supply of screwing up long ago - I think.

Thank God for the second, third, and fourth chances we get.

And that I still get to listen to Merle.


Syd said...

Country songs have a way of making me want to cry in my beer. Glad that you are much happier today. And sober!

Pam said...

I love Merle.
I've been stopped many a times from playing "Statue of a Fool" on a juke box for the same reasons.
I used to think "my love" could fix Merle too. ;)

dAAve said...

I'm trying to figure out why you are disgusted to be competent, reliable and trustworthy.
I love old C&W songs too.

shadowlands said...

I'm still close enough to my last drink, that the thought of those 'songs to slit your throat to' still terrifies me and makes me feel as if I'm falling down a huge hole.

Uuuuughhhhh!!! Scary days...and long long nights.

I'm off to make a cheese sandwich! Appetite! What an amazing invention. I'd forgotten what hungry felt like.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

LOL, so have these delusions of grandeur that help me to become a mega star in my own mind. Not happy just being the girl that sings well while she happily mows the yard. :)

I love Merle!

And mine (the song that people would kill to stop me from playing) was Bad Bad Leroy Brown.

Always been a sucker for bad boys :)

Ann said...

The best is.....I have always been taught that you add "in bed" at the end of every fortune....that makes yours "you are competent, reliable, and trustworthy in bed" - EVEN BETTER, right?!?!? :-)

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wendy said...

I can identify with what you wrote here. Thanks for sharing. said...

We love Merle. We play Merle often at dinner. So soothing, so righteous....