Training for a marathon isn't that much fun. I am sick of being outside pounding the pavement. I am really really tired. There is no respite in sight. I am still somewhat sick. But I did 3 miles last night, 5 miles this morning, and will do 7 miles tomorrow morning before work.
When I get done with this marathon (if I get that far), I am going to quit running for at least a while. I want to sleep in the morning. I want to not change my clothes more than once a day. I want to stop doing laundry all the time. I am just weary of all of this.
OK, I will stop.
Last night on my run I saw a beautiful young woman standing in her driveway, on her one remaining leg and her crutches. Then I thought - gee, that puts my moaning about running into perspective. This morning I read an article by a woman with MS who says she has phantom running sensations. She is now in a wheel chair and says she can't really remember walking, but she can remember every single thing about running and it is the thing she misses worst in the world.
Did I ever tell you that I never actually participated in a race until I was sober for 3 years? I was 35 years old. I ran the Bolder Boulder - all 10 K of it. With a cigarette and matches in the little pocket of my pink running shorts. Yes, I lit up as soon as I crossed the finish line. People have asked me what the point was of that. There was no point. I wanted to run, and I smoked 2 packs a day. I knew by the time I was finished running 6.2 miles I would need a cigarette. In 1987 that was not a radical idea.
Now I am a 58 year old woman who hasn't had a drink for over 26 years, nor a cigarette for almost 19 years. You know, that is why I am such a big believer in the Grace of God. Left to my own devices, I don't think I could have stayed sober for a day, and I know I could not have gone more than 2 hours without a smoke.
The grace of God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous have enabled me to do all sorts of things I never thought I could.
Maybe like this marathon?